Fragment Orgainization Thread

Okay, heres a list and a short description of the characters we agreed on for the first location.

LIGHT:

Lead engineer and foreman
Glory of the machine. We are so impressive for making this. Eighth wonder of the world.
Low-level scientist [Murshid and Fariha]
Just an honor to be a part of this historical event.
American politician [Karuto]
We need these resources for the good of the American economy and people.
American ambassador
We can help these new people.
Cryptologist [unchow]
A great challenge, an honor to work with these two leaders. I just hope I don’t get anything wrong.

DARK:

Environment officer
This mining operation is destroying the land.
Submayan leader [Shazane]
These strange new people came out of nowhere and now they’re telling us we have to move out of our homelands. This all sounds very similar to the stories of our ancestors, passed down through ancient tradition.
Mine owner [deathbagel]
Now what am I supposed to do now that these squatters got in the way of my mining operation?
Mayan scientist [Murshid and Fariha]
Their technology is advanced, but they have no love for the land. I fear for our people.
Mexican politician
These Americans came in and threatened us with war, destroyed our land, and stole our resources.


The writers arnt set in stone, but only two of us mentioned who we would be interested in. post in here if you want to claim your stake on a character, and Ill edit and put down who has what.

Edited by Andrew McCray, 20 January 2009 - 12:18 AM.

I would like to take the Submayan leader. However I would need to know what will be made with the cryptologist and the ambassador to tell this story.

Good job for getting this up. I'm still interested in the mine owner, but I didn't think it was final.

We (Fariha and I) are interested in writing the "Low-level scientist" and "Mayan scientist". We'll get to work on it.

I suppose I can try the American politician.

/me runs off to do research

as far as the cryptologist goes, what I was going to do is have the entry written from the perspective of several years in the future, looking back on the situation and how it relates to the events to come, but not mentioning what happens after these events. The way I imagined the progression of events was that the mining operation finds the cavern, and theres some futile attempts at conversation between some miners and the submayan leader, and the lead engineer of the mining operation informes the American government. The USA sends in an ambassador and the cryptologist to attempt to make contact with the leader, and determine where they came from. It would not be clear that these people are related to the mayans until after the cryptologist figures it out through their writings and speech. He finds out how they were driven underground when the rest of their race died out, and lived there ever since in peace. He relates this to the ambassador, and the ambassador conveys to the submayan leader how the American government would like to give the submayans a new home in the US, because its not safe for them to live underground, and the mining operation needs to continue. The cryptologist would rather the area be preserved and studied, and the Submayan leader would rather keep his people in their home, but he soon realises that he doesnt have much choice.

Here's some useful stuff I found:



Ola! - Hello!

Tu heel k'iin! - So long!

Bix a bel? (pronounced "B'ix a b'eh?" in parts of western Yucatán and northern Campeche) - How are you? (literally "How is your road?")

Ma'alob, kux tech? - Good, and you? (literally "not bad, as for you?")

Bey xan ten. - Same with me (literally "thus also to me")

Tux ka bin? - Where are you going?

Tim b'in xíimbal. - I am going for a walk.

Bix a k'àab'a'? - What is your name? (Literally "how are you named?")

In k'aaba' Jorge. - My name is Jorge (Literally "Jorge my name")

Hach ki'imak in wóol in wilikech - Pleased to meet you (Literally "very happy my heart I see you")

Ba'ax ka wa'alik? - What's up? (Literally, "what are you saying (it)" or "what do you say?")

Mix bá'al. (Pronounced "Mix b'á'ah" in parts of western Yucatán and northern Campeche) - Nothing.

Bix a wilik? - How does it look? (Literally "how you see (it)?")

Jach Ma'alob' - Very good.

Kó'ox! - Let's go! (For two people - you and I)

Kó'one'ex! - Let's go! (For a group of people)

Ba'ax a ka? - What do you want?

Tak sáamal (the word "tak" is often lost in many areas of the northern lowlands, and it is replaced with "hasta sáamah" in western Yucatán and northern Campeche) - Until Tomorrow. (Meaning "See you tomorrow")

Hach dyos bo'otik. - Thank you very much. (Literally "very much God pays (it)")

Mix bá'al. (Pronounced "Mix b'á'ah" in parts of western Yucatán and northern Campeche) - It's nothing (don't mention it - you're welcome) (literally, "Nothing").

Min na'atik! - I don't understand. (I don't get it!)

Dyos bo'otik! - Thank you! (God pays it!)

Mixba'al - You're welcome! (It is nothing!)

He'le' - Yes

Ma' - No


VOWELS
Basically sound like Spanish vowels. Double vowels are held longer.
"a" as in father
"e" as in grey
"i" as in hill
"o" as in cold
"u" as "oo" in moon

GLOTTAL STOPS
Indicated by an apostrophe (i.e., a' or k'), means to use the closed glottis felt in the throat between the syllables of "uh-oh."

CONSONANTS
The letters, C,D,F,G,R,V,Z are not used except for borrowed Spanish terms. Sounds are the same as English or Spanish. Take particular note that:.
"x" sounds like "sh"
"ch" like in chair.

Should be useful. Though what the submayans speak will be realated but not exactly the same as the Mayan language. Ill try to use variants of this if I quote their speech.

Okay then, I finally got the chance to sit down and crank this out. Still a rough draft, but I think it’s a good start. As far as the larger narrative, I have some ideas that I incorporated into this, but they are tentative and can be changed if need be.

-the main thing is that I was thinking that the bioplauge that ravages the planet later in the story could have originated way back when. The same plague killed off a lot of Mayans and civilizations in the area, and that’s what forced this group of Mayans underground. In the process of moving underground, they brought remnants of the bioplauge with them in their own bodies and in the plant life they brought with them, in a way that they either were already immune or developed immunities shortly, and the bioplauge stayed dormant deep underground with them. When the place is excavated, the bioplauge is discovered, and later weaponized by various governments, including Russia, which is how it gets into the Starkiller.

-the other thing was that I was thinking that the time they were forced underground, and the initial bioplauge infection would coincide with the historical fall of the Classical Mayans, in the 8th and 9th century. This can easily take place much earlier if need be, but I thought it made sense to say that the bioplauge caused the decline of their civilization.

Other than that, I think everything is self explanatory. I don’t know how to attach files on these forums, because I don’t see a button. If someone points it out I will attach it, but I dont want to post it just as text here because it loses all of its formatting. It’s about 1200 words right now.

oh, and theres some cussing. I didnt know if thats ok but I like using some curse words in narratives like this because they can be good for expressing strong emotion.

EDIT: got it attached

Edited by Andrew McCray, 24 January 2009 - 11:43 AM.

You can indeed attach things to the forums; you have to use the full reply thingy, by using 'more options' at the bottom of the screen.

As for the plague's origins, that's certainly a distinct possibility. As for one thing regarding the game lore - is it possible we could try to avoid using the names of nations and political unions do you think? I think it would certainly help the stories retain their unknown time setting. Cities, and fictional organisations on the other hand, are relatively timeless

I guess its your call if you want to fictionalize government names and the like, but I think with that you run the risk of detaching the story from reality. As it is, the only thing that the story keeps in common with our own reality is that we can see that there are similar things going on in the past of this world. If you fictionalize everything we might not even know that this took place on Earth.

You imply that the story was ever really attached to reality in the first place, haha.

lol. well it is. you have humans, you have earth, you have mayans, you have disease and death, and the like. All stories need to have something that a reader/player can attach to, and relate to.

I have to agree with Andrew - I thinks its important that the player can relate to the story, so it doesnt become too "far fetched". Great work guys, I'm looking forward to reading even more about the story

Location names are fine - towns, villages, maybe even provinces or regions. I'd want to avoid using specific nations and existing organisations - I'd prefer to avoid using the names of nations as a whole full-stop. It sounds awkward, but it's a very strong preference. I'd like to avoid handing the whole back-story to the player whole-sale, and I don't want the player to relate to it either; the player character is from the far-far-future, from a world that has nothing to do with Earth, save in what is possibly even ancient history; therefore the player character will not relate to those references, so the player shouldn't either. I want to hint at small parts of particular events in the back story, not drop too many specific details. Let us not also forget, that we don't know what time scale we're looking at for the back story either. Just how far into the future is it? It's undetermined. It's possible that a large quantity of nations / organisations that we can name now, wouldn't likely exist in a thousand years time - there aren't a great many current nations that have lasted that long!

Edited by ambershee, 01 February 2009 - 10:34 PM.

Hey guys I've had alot of stuff on so, but heres some quick 2d map Ideads for the dead city. I was looking at Jens concept from a while ago and thought then the sea platforms was a cool Idea. Therefore I have done a quick 2d map to see what you think. These are know wear near final just wanting feedback and ideas so I can modify accordingly .




The below plan is a more in depth look at possible ideas for one of the sea platforms. The case below is for the slums the dead cities populations living quarters, again these are only rough as when I get feedback I can be more specific





Cheers Coops

I think this is the wrong thread for that.
I've been busy the past few weeks but I'm now actively working on my piece. In the draft I've been using "Calvin Brothers Mining" as the name for the mining corporation. Please, if anybody has objections or a better name.

I was beginning to wonder if we were going to hear from anyone! Yeah, you can just use that name for now - it's not as if you couldn't change it later, if you wanted to.

I was beginning to wonder if we were going to hear from anyone! Yeah, you can just use that name for now - it's not as if you couldn't change it later, if you wanted to.

Sorry! Shortly after accepting the piece for the American politician, one of my teachers dropped a bombshell - we have a 25-page paper due at the end of the month. All of my energy has been focused on either schoolwork or getting the research together to do the paper. However, once that is done, I will turn my attention to working on this. I plan on having something strong by the end of April (could be done a lot sooner, of course). I hope that isn't a big deal!

There's presently no set deadline for anything, since that part of the project isn't even being considered for technical implementation for a while yet. Take any time needed.