I don't apologize for the small preview picture. Although, I'm pretty sure this picture is a bigger file than all of these garbage games combined.
Here's a top-notch idea: you're a minimum wage employee in a kid's birthday party horror show business, and your job is to watch the restaurant at night. Oh, and automated nightmares want to kill you. Groovy, baby.
~PLOT TWIST~
The game was made by minimum wage Burger King employees that couldn't keep up with the stress of designing Sneak King. Five Nights at Freddy's is a two cent abomination of PM gaming. Two cents, not being the cost of these games (far from it) but rather the development cost. So, the original game popped up around April of 2014. There have been 5 of these games since then...
There are two big questions in life:
#1- Why do noses run, and feet smell?
#2- How does this game keep coming back, and why does it always stink?
All 5 of these games are conveniently packed into a 900x900 screen, appealing to you folks that are still using a Macintosh 1998 monitor. And also, don't you hate it when games give you all of those confusing options menus? Giving us words, like BRIGHTNESS. Or FULLSCEEN. Or that nasty, nasty "R" word that rhymes with PERSECUTION. Instead, if you press that awkwardly placed 'esc' button (boo! evil button!), it just shuts you out of the game. My opinion? GOOD. If I accidentally get overly frustrated with the awful controls and terrible visuals, then I deserve to be thrown from the game. I simply don't deserve to play.
Yes, all 5 of these games have suffered from the same issues since 2014. And you might get confused since lots of people recommend them. Don't worry... anyone who recommends these games are either mentally handicapped, or a child. They have acquired a 3rd grade demographic, much like its predecessor: Call of Duty. Coincidentally, both of these franchises birth out a deformed spawn of bastard children every year, which is appealing to people who don't know better. Maybe because children puke up money like they do bad opinions, able to sustain Five Blights at Serengeti, or whatever these stupid games are called. I'd rather be shunted into a desert and forced to eat Mombasa meat for five nights rather than spend one more terrible resolution second playing one of these games. The developers must have missed the Sesame Street episode where Big Bird teaches you how to stop making stupid video games.
End of Rage Hammer... right? Not yet, Short Round. This crypt of antiquities has just opened up. The reason this Rage Hammer came up this week is because of what just came out. It's... indescribably stupid. Thinking of a joke for it just makes my head hurt, since this game in itself is a joke. I thought the announcement of this game was a prank at first... nope... they weren't joking... the developers are actually this stupid. Just... just... no. I give you this link, out of trust that you're not a 7 year old child who will actually buy it:
http://store.steampo...com/app/427920/