8 replies to this topic

[Pasidon]

I don't apologize for the small preview picture.  Although, I'm pretty sure this picture is a bigger file than all of these garbage games combined.

 

 

Here's a top-notch idea: you're a minimum wage employee in a kid's birthday party horror show business, and your job is to watch the restaurant at night.  Oh, and automated nightmares want to kill you.  Groovy, baby.

 

~PLOT TWIST~

 

The game was made by minimum wage Burger King employees that couldn't keep up with the stress of designing Sneak King.  Five Nights at Freddy's is a two cent abomination of PM gaming.  Two cents, not being the cost of these games (far from it) but rather the development cost.  So, the original game popped up around April of 2014.  There have been 5 of these games since then...

 

There are two big questions in life:

 

#1- Why do noses run, and feet smell?

#2- How does this game keep coming back, and why does it always stink?

 

All 5 of these games are conveniently packed into a 900x900 screen, appealing to you folks that are still using a Macintosh 1998 monitor.  And also, don't you hate it when games give you all of those confusing options menus?  Giving us words, like BRIGHTNESS.  Or FULLSCEEN.  Or that nasty, nasty "R" word that rhymes with PERSECUTION.  Instead, if you press that awkwardly placed 'esc' button (boo!  evil button!), it just shuts you out of the game.  My opinion?  GOOD.  If I accidentally get overly frustrated with the awful controls and terrible visuals, then I deserve to be thrown from the game.  I simply don't deserve to play.

 

Yes, all 5 of these games have suffered from the same issues since 2014.  And you might get confused since lots of people recommend them.  Don't worry... anyone who recommends these games are either mentally handicapped, or a child.  They have acquired a 3rd grade demographic, much like its predecessor: Call of Duty.  Coincidentally, both of these franchises birth out a deformed spawn of bastard children every year, which is appealing to people who don't know better.  Maybe because children puke up money like they do bad opinions, able to sustain Five Blights at Serengeti, or whatever these stupid games are called.  I'd rather be shunted into a desert and forced to eat Mombasa meat for five nights rather than spend one more terrible resolution second playing one of these games.  The developers must have missed the Sesame Street episode where Big Bird teaches you how to stop making stupid video games.  

 

End of Rage Hammer... right?  Not yet, Short Round.  This crypt of antiquities has just opened up.  The reason this Rage Hammer came up this week is because of what just came out.  It's... indescribably stupid.  Thinking of a joke for it just makes my head hurt, since this game in itself is a joke.  I thought the announcement of this game was a prank at first... nope... they weren't joking... the developers are actually this stupid.  Just... just... no.  I give you this link, out of trust that you're not a 7 year old child who will actually buy it:

 

http://store.steampo...com/app/427920/

[OmegaBolt]

Someone in the Steam reviews said they bought the game 'cause the graphics look pretty good.

[Pasidon]

Yea, those reviews are amazing.  "I can't believe it!  This game looked SO GOOD!  How could a wild and wacky RPG about terribly designed horror games that were made in the span of 5 months by one man possibly be bad?"

[Pasidon]

This just in... didn't the developer get taught about not feeding the hammer?  Well, he did.  This is HILARIOUS.  The developer has these kind words EXCLUSIVELY FOR RAGE HAMMER.  This is from Mr. Scott, developer of these horrible games.  Enjoy:

 

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Hi everyone.

 

This isn’t exactly an announcement that I’m enjoying writing, but it’s one that I feel I owe to the community.

 

You know, I’ve been accused of rushing my games ever since FNaF 1, but I’ve never felt that I’d released a game too early… until now.

 

There are a lot of features that this game should have had before release, features that I was told about, but ignored and didn’t implement. Features such as being able to see what abilities do during battle, or being able to see a stats page for your characters. These are features that any good RPG would have.

 

I got too eager to show the things that were finished, that I neglected to pay attention to the things that weren’t.

 

I’m going to fix this, and I’ll be updated the game with these features in the coming weeks.

 

So I say this to a community that I’ve enjoyed and respected for over a year and a half now- I’m sorry. I will continue to add features to the game and make it right. 

 

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1- He never felt he's released a game too early?  He's made these 5 games in the span of 2 years.  So apparently, his broken, spit cup of content games are 100% finished and perfectly how he wanted them.  I'm pretty sure the 3rd one had only one enemy, and a grand total of 15 static images, 10 sound files, and 2 animations.

 

2- "There are a lot of features that this game should have had before release, features that I was told about, but ignored and didn’t implement. " As the sole developer, how do you not hear about features in your own game?  Insert split personality joke here, or something of the same caliber

 

3- ."Features such as being able to see what abilities do during battle, or being able to see a stats page for your characters." Umm... why would you decided to not have these things in your RPG?  I'm afraid he got a Role Playing Game confused with a Rocket Propelled Grenade, which certainly doesn't tell you anything during battle.

 

4- "I'm sorry."  Says the guy swimming in the money of suckers that believed this game looked amazing.  I'm sorry too... that you're a dim as your audience. Punt off, Scott.  There's a cash register at KFC waiting for you somewhere, champ.

[OmegaBolt]

Because I'm annoying like this, I'm actually gonna kinda side with him on this... I mean, maybe he should've learned a thing or two before releasing this RPG especially if he got critical feedback, but with FNAF, it's not like he really asked for all the attention. He's just a random dude making little games and is learning, I'd guess, but through the power of the internet it became some kind of phenomenon. I think that's what's most annoying, right? Because everyone starts somewhere, it's just usually that stuff is buried so deep in the earth it's in Australia, where no one will ever find it. God help them if they go look.

 

And his shit fed YouTubers with 5 new games for a year and a half. You know so many people will have to go out of business if he ever stops? YouTube itself might collapse as a viable platform. I recommend you jump on that bandwagon and milk it. Suckle the sweet nectar of the YouTube gods.

[Pasidon]

I made a sacred oath to never get viewers from bandwagoning.  I can beat every other YouTuber at their own game, and I'm going to do it the proper way.  Insulting others and cheating with comedy.

 

And you can take the guy's side, but he's not someone who is learning from his mistakes.  He's created a fanbase from a horror game, and has been milking it for sweet, sweet mon'ay ever since his first game.  As a consequence, these games have been progressing backwards.  They are losing content, and they are just slowly picking away at things that fans want.  So much so, this RPG isn't even reminiscent of what hooked fans in the first place.  It just has the Five Night's name on it, and familiar characters (but with no context to their horror inspired designs, which defeats the purpose of the franchise entirely).

 

The problem with that is, the developer knew it was going to sell because it has his name and the weight of his first game still pushing sales.  But that's completely wrong to sell this game like that at this price, when he even admitted to prematurely pushing up the release date and leaving out key content, all while he was "ignoring" drastically important features that he was "told about."  He took people's money for a game he knew that was unacceptable for a full release, and publicly admitted it.  All 5 of these games are unacceptable in their current states, but I suspect this game is biting him since he now lives in the age of Steam Refunds.  And that most people didn't buy into his little RPG joke game.  Emphasis more on "joke" rather than "game."

 

But if he really wanted to learn from his mistakes and just have fun making games, then marketing them at these prices with this brand name is a contradiction to his moral values.  Breath of Death and Cthulhu Saves the World are great examples of amateur RPGs , in which the creators cared more about having fun making games rather than making a large profit.  Mr. Scott wanted to make an RPG, and he wanted it to sell, so he slapped the Freddy brand name on it, even though it has no place at all in a game like it.  And from his delivered content, and from his response, it actually doesn't seem like he had any clue on the fundamental principles of an RPG at all.  The marketing tactics and price put into this game outweigh his principles by a mile.  It's fine that he wants to try and correct his mistakes... but he has failed to correct these mistakes 4 times in a row.  This one game getting a fabled / unheard of patch isn't good enough.

[Pasidon]

WELL.  This just in: http://www.ign.com/a...rom-steam?watch

 

The developer actually took Five Nights at Freddy's: World off of Steam due to chattering skulls, like myself.  My previous post questioned this man's moral intentions, but this is a very humble turn of events.  He's ripped this joke off the face of the earth, to be consecrated until it's actually playable.  He shouldn't even bother returning it, but at least it's actually going to be free.  And everyone who bought this mess, for whatever god forsaken reason, will be fully refunded.  

 

I'm quite proud of this.  Yes, the game was mostly positive, but the developer knew those positive votes were just morons seeping their fangs into the Five Nights' trademark.  This game was bad, and he recognized it.  Well done, Mr. Scott.  You failed massively, but at least you actually reacted with a bit of class.

[Atomic_Noodles]

Wow I thought that game was yet another fan-game didn't even bother to check it out. Glad to see I didn't.

[Pasidon]

So did I, at first.  If you're a developer for a popular game, and you announce a sequel (of sorts) that everyone thinks is a joke (or just some fan made garbage), that should be some indication if you should be making it at all.