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Rage Hammer- Deadpool

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#1 Pasidon

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 06:38 AM

deadpool_ver10.jpg

 

Deadpool.  If you're looking for the forum about the decline of billiard pool in the 21st century, that's another blog I saddle in the late hours.  No, this is about a super-something action thing called Deadpool.  Genres: torture porn, swearing, male genital obsessions.  If Dr. Freud was still alive, this movie would be the introduction to his books about phallic worship.  I can save you 12 bucks / 30 pirated gigabytes by directing you to google.com, where you can just look up fine quality penis jokes without having to listen to dungeon nerds and internet trolls laughing at Ryan Reynold's deformed face.  And that's just before they put the makeup and mask on him.  Wow... I make a joke without swearing or referencing sex things.  STAY AWAY.  MY COMEDY BLEEDS POISON.

 

Well Pasidon, other than the writers pointing out that male gentiles DO IN FACT exist, what else were these 1.5 hours of mouthy metaphors about?  Well, Wade Wilson (not to be confused with DC's Slade Wilson (aka Deathstroke (akaka probably not a coincidence))) becomes an ugly murderer that says white people jokes.  His origin story takes up about half of the movie, and it's pretty much about him being an ordinary pervert that gets a girl friend, then gets cancer.  Great origin, bro.  And the rest of the movie is about him becoming Deadpool and killing people.  Because that's funny, I think.

 

Uhh.. also cue in X Men ties and how two random mutants join in on the "fun."  Yes, our hero has to hire other heroes to do his work.  But don't worry, you don't actually have to look at Ryan Reynolds that much.  Thankfully.   In fact, he's hidden behind 50 pounds of latex and rubber so often, Reynolds is probably considered the "comedy" double for the actual stunt actor.   

 

Look... just don't watch it.  Please.  The only thing this movie is good for is making penicillin from the thousands of unsold DVDs it's bound to spew from its festering pits.  Deadpool?  More like cesspool.  This movie is HARD to watch.  Ha.  Take that penis joke and shove it up your penis hole, Stan Lee.  IF THAT EVEN IS YOUR REAL NAME.   Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be taken out back and be beaten until I feel better about myself.


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#2 MattTheLegoman

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 08:50 AM

Uzbekistan is rejoicing that they dodged this supe-flick.


Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy. - C.S. Lewis

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. - Louis L'Amour

What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most now? - Max Lucado


#3 Irenë Hawnetyne

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 02:07 PM

I enjoyed it.


"Everyone's a hero when there's nowhere left to run."

 

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#4 TheWankBank

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 02:50 PM

I just so badly want to copy paste this on Facebook 

nocreditsgiventoyouatal

 

 

But I'm afraid I'll just get roasted to death in school.


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Command and Conquer Red Alert 2/3 and Yuri's Revenge

Command and Conquer Tiberium Wars/ Kane's Wrath/ and Sun

Command and Conquer Generals and Zero hour

 


#5 Pasidon

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 05:15 PM

Hey, Rage Hammer is a copyright institution owned and produced by Bone Home Entertainment and distributed by Warner Brothers South by Southwest.  If you copy and paste it, breaking copyright law... I will be forced to be very proud of you.

I enjoyed it.

My Rage Hammer on Deadpool?  DANK YU.


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#6 TheWankBank

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 07:27 PM

 Please make a Rage hammer on C&C4, quite a lot of people don't seem to get why it's so bad.

 

Mention the cartoonish graphics, the damage system and the pathetic ending to such a great franchise [ The last GDI and Nod mission, screenshots for the last mission of Nod provivded, since it makes more sense than the GDI one. ]

 

Here are some screenshots from in-game scavenged from my brothers pc, use them to explain anything if you want to:

 

 

http://imgur.com/a/d51zP


iy2vXkp.png

Games -

 

Command and Conquer Red Alert 2/3 and Yuri's Revenge

Command and Conquer Tiberium Wars/ Kane's Wrath/ and Sun

Command and Conquer Generals and Zero hour

 


#7 Pasidon

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 07:44 PM

Make a Rage Hammer on a game I've only seen 4 hours of footage on?  I'll pass on that one, WB.  I can spin any movie / game / women's health magazine ragy, but I only pick the particulars that really annoy me these days.  Not to mention things I actually know things about.


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#8 TheWankBank

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Posted 17 February 2016 - 01:12 PM

Well, shit. I might have to make a spin off rage hammer on this game.

 

nocreditsgiventoyouatall

 

At first, I thought if you've seen 4 hours footage, then you must have seen the entire campaign of Nod and GDI. [ I wish I was joking. ]. But it might make sense that you must have seen skirmish or something like that.

 

Alright Pasidon, keep making these wonderful threads, I like them, keep it up.


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Games -

 

Command and Conquer Red Alert 2/3 and Yuri's Revenge

Command and Conquer Tiberium Wars/ Kane's Wrath/ and Sun

Command and Conquer Generals and Zero hour

 


#9 Pasidon

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Posted 17 February 2016 - 01:18 PM

My command is your wish.


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