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Rage Hammer- Sons of Anarchy


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#1 Pasidon

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 08:31 AM

Action!  Suspense!  Romance!  Now, on a completely different note...

Sons-od-Anarchy.jpg

 

In a world where only white people deaths matter, Sons of Anarchy is about a gaggle of trashy hicks that kill people and make money with bare-minimal consequences.  Get your grandma's typewriter out and stat taking notes, because you'll be swamped by so many names and convoluted plot points, Leonardo DiCaprio drowning at the end of Titanic will start looking like a lot of fun.

 

Besides being unfathomably hard to follow, this show takes a bunch of people that are difficult to like and makes them even less likable as the series drags its saggy butt cheeks onward.  What's that brown streak on the ground?  Why, that's Jackson Teller!  Our main protagonist.  He probably kills 100 people throughout the series, ruins innocent lives, screws up his kids, torments his own mother... super likable.  The show starts with Jackson trying to get out of the gun business.  Meanwhile in season 7... the show is STILL about Jackson trying to get out of the gun business.  

 

This show is just people asking other people if they can talk in private.  There were even private conversations within private conversations.  I spent half of the show trying to remember who knew what secrets.  Every episode was like Christmas since I always got another convoluted plot point to unwrap.  Though, in the end, the only jolly saint in the show was Katey Sagal (AL!).  She has a belly full of botox jelly, but don't put your kids on her lap just yet.  She changes personalities so often, I feel the need to call an exorcist every time I see her.

 

Sons of Anarchy was confusing, predictable, and chalked full of so many plot holes, it can't even hold gravy.  All of the worst people in the show continued to be rewarded while everyone with any worth is sent to The Reaper without even a good song playing in the background.  Marilyn Manson playing a murderous Neo Nazi doesn't even get a slap on the wrist.  It had a few good moments, but it ended up vomiting up every bit of quirkiness and turning the fun moments into a circus built upon the foundations of chronic masturbation.  Hardly any of the conclusions were satisfying either.  If you're interested in starting the show, then you can just watch the first and last episodes.  You probably won't even notice missing plot points.


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#2 DoMiNaNt_HuNtEr

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Posted 11 August 2016 - 05:23 PM

I thought it was OK. I liked it better than Breaking Bad.

 

That Sons of Anarchy last episode where, Jax the swaggerman FINALLY TAKES OFF THOSE FUCKING WHITE AS HELL WIGGER SHOES AND PUTS ON ACTUAL BIKER BOOTS? Then he dresses like a hobo and waits on the stairs and shoots that black guy in the head? Yeah, that was pretty cool.

 

But the Sons of Anarchy biker gang, man, are they ever clean cut! Like, what the fuck? Wheres all the drugs? THese guys are so well kept, with nice duds and cleaner than clean housing. That aint no biker gang. Those guys are fucking hollywood actors, god dammit! Waaay too clean cut.

 

You wanna see a good biker gang story, just play Grand Theft Auto 4, The Lost and Damned. Now THERES some fucking hardcore, balls out cut off your enemy's balls, snorting meth off a bowie knife, dealing smack and drinking like champions, fucking whores and killing whores and killing fucks. And starting wars... all over a crappy American bike with a broken muffler. Actually I think all their mufflers are broken. Every single biker fag that drives by me has a broken muffler. What the fuck is wrong with these idiots? Anyways, back to the lost and damned, its a nice character piece, and the setup is easy to follow through on, you can follow the story pretty good. Heres a quote from the story's opening cinematic:

 

"GET MY BIKE!"

 

"What am I, your fucking dog?"

 

Those are the two best lines I could think of, and sets up the story beautifully. There yah go Pasidon, an easy to follow story, with clear motives, and actual fucking greasy but very dangerous and heavily armed bikers with money and territory.

 

Oh yeah, and the side characters are great too. Theres this corrupt politician guy who hires one of the bikers to do some dirty work. And the politician guy has a butler, whos name is Leevus... so, when his master say to him, "Leave us?".........

 

GET IT?!! Hes telling him to leave us alone, but thats his name, so hes like "Yes, sir?" And then politician gets angry and keeps saying "LEAVE! US!" "What is it sir? PLease, I'm right here! Just tell me what you want!

 

:thumbsupxd:  Good humor AND good story.

 

Pasidon, I bet you got a bad taste of "What the fuck?" left over from binge watching all 7 seasons of Sons of Anarchy. You needs some good ole Rockstar Entertainment mouthwash. Just google GTA4 The Lost and Damned full movie, and you'll find a nice short and sweet biker story on youtube.


Edited by DoMiNaNt_HuNtEr, 11 August 2016 - 05:36 PM.


#3 Pasidon

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Posted 12 August 2016 - 11:00 PM

Well, you just outlined another issue.  These guys are murderous dirt bags no sense of right or wrong, but oh no... drugs and guns.  Those things are bad though. 

 

And it did have its funny moments.  Tig was over-all a great character who carried the show.  His psychotic (lack of a) reaction of watching his own daughter burn alive was disturbingly entertaining.  But those moments were just drowned out by brooding and repetition.  The only true emotional bit was when Gemma put her father in a nursing home... I mean, come on.  Jackson hitting that semi at the end wasn't even sad.  There was just nothing to like about him.  I was cheering by the thought of him being pancaked.


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#4 DoMiNaNt_HuNtEr

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Posted 13 August 2016 - 12:09 AM

lol, if they were senseless murderous dirtbags, AND they actually did drugs (along with their guns) instead of just selling cocaine only, later on , it would have been more entertaining. A coked up character is way better than a non coked up character.

 

And your right. These bastard just talk all day, but in a boring, urban environment, with boring, drawn out dialogue. 


Edited by DoMiNaNt_HuNtEr, 13 August 2016 - 12:09 AM.


#5 Pasidon

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Posted 13 August 2016 - 12:12 AM

Yup.  Sons of "Can you give me a minute so we may discuss the outlining issues with our current social situations"archy. 


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