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#1 Ash

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 02:43 PM

Q: RS won't run/I don't see anything new/The options are screwy/Other similar complaint
A: Patch your YR up to 1.001. Ensure the YR folder is clean of all other mod files, such as ini, mix, csf, etc. Ensure the Rock the Battlefield patch is not installed, as RS is not compatible with it. You might also wanna try the RA2 Clean up tool one can locate from http://marshall.cannis.net in cases where the game has crashed and leftovers probably cause issues or its other mod interference or ultimately uninstall the game and wipe folders even manually 100% clean and reinstall all.

Q: The manual is not up to date
A: The reason for this is my (Comrade Jerkov) lack of time to fully test every single unit to ensure it's all correct. Remember, CJ is more of a casual gamer than a pore-over-everything gamer. I update as regularly as I can, or when any noteworthy changes occur. I don't necessarily notice the tiny little changes, such as a techtree change or a price alter. On that same note, the Allied Legion price for the Decimator and other advanced tech units are higher than documented because the Battle Lab gives a price increase. In the game code, they are the prices I specified, but they cost a percentage more than that.

Q: Where is X unit?
A: Either you haven't got the necessary prerequisite (try spying some enemy labs), or you're having a similar issue to question 1.

Q: Why didn't I get anything from spying X Lab?
A: The stolen tech tree is not 100% finalised. There are a few gaps yet to be filled. Rest assured, we are working on this.

Q: May I use X mod asset?
A: Ask Apollo nicely and he may. If it's available on YR Argentina or another resource site, then it's obviously freely available for you. If not, it's possible Apollo made it himself. In this scenario, ask him and he will say yay or nay.

Q: Why do all NEXUS units sound the same, yet other sides have different voices for each side?
A: Plot design. Why would robots use different voices? Volkov will have a new voice in the upcoming version, as will many other units.

Q: WTF does Comrade Jerkov actually DO around here? o_0
A: I write the manual, occasionally update the news, upload new things now and then, and update the mod database. I give ideas for new/changed units and stolen tech, I beta test closely with Apollo, I'm working on coding in new unit sound effects and voices, and also struggling to put together an Allied Legion and a Freedom League taunts pack (I have a NEXUS one already done).

Q: Who's Gamemate? What's his story?
A: Gamemate used to run a brewery which went under because he was his own best customer. He switched from business modelling to 3D modelling and has never looked back. Thankfully, he has never gone into glamour modelling.

Q: Would he ever consider going into glamour modelling?
A: Only if AG asked him to model for some Asian porno shoot.

Q: Where's Gamemate from?
A: Sveeeden. Land of ze elk. And also the Finlandians' worst enemies outside of Russia. Makes sense that the two are almost always engaged in a bitchfest. Anyone'd think they were an old married couple, if they didn't know Apollo was with Heidi-ho.

Q: Why the hell is there a manual anyway? o_0
A: Blame me (CJ). I decided to do one off my own back without prompting. There's so much new stuff in this mod it sort of requires one. Why not ask AR2 the same Q? Besides: Know your army. Know your enemy. Are these not two vital parts of the Art of War? ;) Better that than lurch right into a battle and get yourself a royal ass-kicking straight out.

Q: Why'd you use UT/E:BFD music in the music packs? Thiefz0r!
A: We liked the tunes, and they fit the RS theme. And we aren't stealing them, because we aren't profiting from them. If you don't like it, don't use it. Use tracks you'd prefer. Incidentally, YR music is disabled because it's horrible and nasty.

Q: ZOMG! Where is my beloved Yuri/Prism Tank/other YR thing!?
A: RTFM. The plotline is explained. Yuri is DEAD. The robots got him. Deal with it! I'm sure you'll prefer NEXUS' force to his wanky army anyway. As for your prism tanks...if you ask me (CJ) nicely enough, I'll code you an RS version myself that INCLUDES them. And then I'll laugh at you heartily as they get utterly destroyed by all the new tech that pwnz them.

Q: The AI cheats!!! T3h h4xx!
A: That isn't a question. But even if it was...the reason for this is to make it more difficult to beat. You're not SERIOUSLY telling me you'd rather play a normal YR AI? ;) Whatever you do, don't play Empire Earth, you'd hate it. It cheats worse than RS AI does.

Q: The AI clones its units from multiple warfacts!
A: YURI'S REVENGE BUG, DUDE. Hardcoded and CANNOT BE CHANGED. Do not post about this in forum.

Q: ZOMG! NEXUS is stolen from Warzone 2100.
A: That's right. Why do you think we play WZ so much? ;) NEXUS just rules. If anyone ever heard of Tiberian Alert, he was gonna make an appearance in that too. Would you rather Apollo have used CABAL? o_0

Q: Why am I not mentioned in the credits?
A: Three reasons: 1) Your stuff isn't used. 2) Apollo forgot who you are. 3) Your stuff is used as a placeholder, maybe. In cases 2 or 3, PM Apollo. Remember there are several hundred assets in this mod. The odd one will slip our mind.

Q: Am I your favourite fan? :p
A: If you donate me and Apollo money, you will surely become it. I have 2 hungry children, Apollo has a wife with no legs. Please help us to support our ailing families!

Q: When can I make love to you both for making such an awesome mod?
A: Before asking THIS question, please send a recent photograph of yourself. If you are what we consider to be the right stuff (ie: Female, age 17-21 and incredibly hot and horny), we will happily arrange a date and time in the near future.

Q: Where is the Official RS Fan Club?
A: Give us the money to make the T-Shirts, and we gladly will make one. Currently, I (CJ) am the leading member. And I don't yet have a T-shirt because I have 2 hungry kids to feed. :)

Q: What other projects do you guys work on?
A: OK. Here's the deal. You look at the forum index, and it says 'Enigma Productions'. This implies mods worked on by Apollo & Gamemate. You go into that, you see TWO subforums. One called Robot Storm, the other called YR: Warzone. Since you're currently also looking in the RS section, the process of elimination leads anyone with a brain cell in their head to conclude that YR: WARZONE is your golden title. Please don't ask this again, or I'll start wondering if you guys even know how to BREATHE. Jeez, I mean, seriously. If you can't figure this out, how the hell do you go on operating a light switch, or knowing left from right? :blink:

Q: What's with all these random weird questions? o_0
A: We both hate FAQs that are all serious and crappy. And we were bored shitless at the time. And I was tipsy.

Q: I can't understand what Apollo said!
A: He's Finnish, he can't help it :p He tries his best, but if you're too silly to figure out what he's saying, I'll translate it for you.

Q: I can't understand what Comrade Jerkov said!
A: Two explanations: 1)You cannot/are too stupid to understand English, or 2) I am using words too big for your comprehension. In which case, the second half of explanation 1 applies.

Q: I'm bored of these FAQs.
A: Go play RS then.

Q: I have a marriage proposal for Apollo/Comrade Jerkov
A: See the making love question. Same answer applies. Apollo is a happy and willing polygamist. He also needs replacement legs for his other wife Heidi.

Q: Do you REALLY have 2 kids? And does Apollo REALLY have a paraplegic wife called Heidi?
A: Yes! Of course we do! HOW DARE YOU DISPUTE US! WE ARE YOUR OVERLORDS AND MASTERS! BOW AND WORSHIP AND REPENT YOUR SINS! And give me £10 while you're at it. Call it your penance tithe.

Q: What compels you to make this mod, the manual, and this FAQ?
A: Coca-cola day and night, sleazy whores and the realisation that our lives are otherwise meaningless.

Q: Aren't you afraid little kids will read this FAQ?
A: No. If they did, they wouldn't understand it, or bother to read it in full.

Q: I hate RS! You both suck!
A: You are born of a 94-year-old man after an amorous relation with a gerbil. You have an IQ of less than seven, and your father (the gerbil) was inbred. Radiation has polluted your excuse for a brain cell and you yourself shag pigs so frequently your underpants smell of smoky bacon. And your name is Gerald.

Q: Why am I still reading this?
A: Isn't it obvious? You have no life, have never seen the sunlight in the past 6 years. Oh, and check your seat, if your legs haven't already fused to it. You should find a healthy ass-groove, if I'm right. How did I know this? Because I've been secretly SPYING ON YOU :lol: . Anyway, if you're still reading even now, you really need to go outside. It looks nice out there.


New FAQs:

Q: What year is it in UK/Finland?
A: Same year as it is where you are. At the time of posting, 2006.

Q: How many days are in February?
A: 28, except on leap years.

Q: What's a leap year?
A: Dear Christ...

Q: What days do you have in your week?
A: If you're asking any of the above four questions, please DON'T. And especially don't use them as an attempt to make us look stupid. You will FAIL, MISERABLY.


And if you don't believe me when I say somebody asks these new 4, I have logs. Available on request. ;)

New Question:

Q: How do I know who I am allied with?
A: This should really have been decided before the match.

Q: Did people actually ask most of these questions?
A: If you need to ask this, follow my advice:
Step 1: Switch off your computer.
Step 2: Unscrew and remove the casing.
Step 3: Take the data cables out of your Hard Disk Drives.
Step 4: Remove the casing from the HDDs.
Step 5: Take a magnet to the HDDs.
Step 6: Replace casing.
Step 7: Reinsert data cables.
Step 8: Put the magnet up against your CRT monitor (in the case of TFTs, cut the front screen with penknife)
Step 9: Boot up computer.
Step 10: Call tech support.

New Question (this one's for you, Netcabo... :sleep: )

Q: Zomg hi i have (very crappily) editted rbot strom without permission and ripped AR2 stuff in process!1 if yuo want to use these changes plz email me and i send you edited ver!1
A: Where the fuck do I start with this one? Don't fucking add stuff from another mod into it. And, if you do make changes, DON'T FUCKING ASK US IF WE WANT TO USE IT INSTEAD.
Do you honestly believe Apollo spent the last three years making this mod so some n00b shmuck could come along, put his grubby paws and stolen assets all over it and say "here's a better version"? Seriously, I dunno about Apollo, but I'd consider that pretty insulting. If you absolutely must, edit it privately but don't dare to publicise it. Or Volkov will rip you a new one and then anally rape you through it.

Q: Why doesn't this FAQ answer the questions I usually ask of mods?
A: Because my crystal ball is on the blink. I took it back to the shop, but it won't be fixed until a week on Thursday.

Q: Will NEXUS be getting any really gay mechs that appears in other videogames, such as Metal Gear, or, ooh! I know! A GUNDAM! That would be so freakin' AWESOME!
A: Yes! Absolutely! Let's add Pikachu and Hello Kitty while we're at it! Oh, wait. If you're dumb enough to ask this, you probably don't get sarcasm either. So, no. Not happening. God forbid there's a mod out there that ADDS any of this stuff... :ohmy: why, the only modder certifiable enough to even THINK about it...
No. I'm not going there. That gag's too obvious.

Q: What do soldiers do when not ordered?
A: This is faction-specific. The AL soldiers grab a bottle of vodka from their chrono-pack and get drunk. NEXUS show a screensaver. Osiris troops eat a burger. And FL? Well...they go around interfering with [COW] or [JOSH].

Edited by Ash, 24 August 2008 - 10:11 AM.


#2 Speeder

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 02:47 PM

One thing: :blink:

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#3 Athena

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 02:52 PM

I second the statement above.

#4 Beowulf

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 02:53 PM

You guys need to cut back on the hard alcohol. :blink:

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#5 Lee

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 03:02 PM

lol great material there :blink:

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#6 Taurus85

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 03:13 PM

lol indeed :blink:
"Hasty can't do, skilled don't rush"
"Life is like a camel; you can make it do anything except back up." - Marcelene Cox
"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." - Batman begins

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#7 Samael

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 03:44 PM

Now we all know who the crack baby is :p .

#8 Kazyumi

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Posted 18 August 2005 - 07:19 PM

GREAT stuff mate.
10+/10, ZOMG YOU GOT TALENT.

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#9 Ash

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Posted 01 October 2005 - 02:07 PM

Added extra Q and A. In my usual witty manner :sad:

#10 Az3r^

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Posted 03 October 2005 - 01:14 PM

ROFL thats funny, i read it but im in college il get nackered if i just walk outside :sad:
Quotes :
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#11 lokey57

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 01:33 AM

Q: Am I your favourite fan? :)
A: If you donate me and Apollo money, you will surely become it. I have 2 hungry children, Apollo has a wife with no legs. Please help us to support our ailing families!

Q: Where is the Official RS Fan Club?
A: Give us the money to make the T-Shirts, and we gladly will make one. Currently, I (CJ) am the leading member. And I don't yet have a T-shirt because I have 2 hungry kids to feed.  :cool:

Q: I can't understand what Comrade Jerkov said!
A: Two explanations: 1)You cannot/are too stupid to understand English, or 2) I am using words too big for your comprehension. In which case, the second half of explanation 1 applies.

Q: I have a marriage proposal for Apollo/Comrade Jerkov
A: See the making love question. Same answer applies. Apollo is a happy and willing polygamist. He also needs replacement legs for his other wife Heidi.

Q: Do you REALLY have 2 kids? And does Apollo REALLY have a paraplegic wife called Heidi?
A: Yes! Of course we do! HOW DARE YOU DISPUTE US! WE ARE YOUR OVERLORDS AND MASTERS! BOW AND WORSHIP AND REPENT YOUR SINS! And give me £10 while you're at it. Call it your penance tithe.


Q: I hate RS! You both suck!
A: You are born of a 94-year-old man after an amorous relation with a gerbil. You have an IQ of less than seven, and your father (the gerbil) was inbred. Radiation has polluted your excuse for a brain cell and you yourself shag pigs so frequently your underpants smell of smoky bacon. And your name is Gerald.


You are not getting a cent out of me..


Q: When can I make love to you both for making such an awesome mod?
A: Before asking THIS question, please send a recent photograph of yourself. If you are what we consider to be the right stuff (ie: Female, age 17-21 and incredibly hot and horny), we will happily arrange a date and time in the near future.

You are just sick.

Edited by lokey57, 04 October 2005 - 01:34 AM.


#12 Samael

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 04:18 AM

:cool: I love this is really funny :lol: :lol: I wish I knew a good joke site to post this there. Two thumbs up. :)

Edited by Lurker, 04 October 2005 - 04:19 AM.


#13 FoRSAkeN_oNe

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 08:51 AM

lmao Indeed.
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Be young, have fun, taste ZOMGWTF.

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#14 Ash

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 11:55 AM

Q: Am I your favourite fan? :)
A: If you donate me and Apollo money, you will surely become it. I have 2 hungry children, Apollo has a wife with no legs. Please help us to support our ailing families!

Q: Where is the Official RS Fan Club?
A: Give us the money to make the T-Shirts, and we gladly will make one. Currently, I (CJ) am the leading member. And I don't yet have a T-shirt because I have 2 hungry kids to feed.  :cool:

Q: I can't understand what Comrade Jerkov said!
A: Two explanations: 1)You cannot/are too stupid to understand English, or 2) I am using words too big for your comprehension. In which case, the second half of explanation 1 applies.

Q: I have a marriage proposal for Apollo/Comrade Jerkov
A: See the making love question. Same answer applies. Apollo is a happy and willing polygamist. He also needs replacement legs for his other wife Heidi.

Q: Do you REALLY have 2 kids? And does Apollo REALLY have a paraplegic wife called Heidi?
A: Yes! Of course we do! HOW DARE YOU DISPUTE US! WE ARE YOUR OVERLORDS AND MASTERS! BOW AND WORSHIP AND REPENT YOUR SINS! And give me £10 while you're at it. Call it your penance tithe.


Q: I hate RS! You both suck!
A: You are born of a 94-year-old man after an amorous relation with a gerbil. You have an IQ of less than seven, and your father (the gerbil) was inbred. Radiation has polluted your excuse for a brain cell and you yourself shag pigs so frequently your underpants smell of smoky bacon. And your name is Gerald.


You are not getting a cent out of me..


Q: When can I make love to you both for making such an awesome mod?
A: Before asking THIS question, please send a recent photograph of yourself. If you are what we consider to be the right stuff (ie: Female, age 17-21 and incredibly hot and horny), we will happily arrange a date and time in the near future.

You are just sick.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Hello, Gerald. How's yer ma? She still running around in that little wheel, or has she moved up in the world? :lol: j/k

Edited by Comrade Jerkov, 04 October 2005 - 11:55 AM.


#15 ZeroSamuraiX

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 01:39 PM

eh was it suposed to be funny?
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#16 Kazyumi

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 03:12 PM

Tis. stfu nubcake. :lol:

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#17 Speeder

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Posted 04 October 2005 - 03:14 PM

Second thing: :lol:

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#18 DoMiNaNt_HuNtEr

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Posted 06 October 2005 - 11:05 PM

lol. For some reason, I really want to play RS again.

And, do U REALLY (And I mean REALLY), have 2 kids? (And does Apollo REALLY (And I mean REALLY) have I wife with no legs?)

#19 Ash

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Posted 07 October 2005 - 09:56 AM

Yes! HOW DARE YOU DISPUTE US! WE ARE YOUR OVERLORDS AND MASTERS! BOW AND WORSHIP AND REPENT YOUR SINS!

Answered in FAQ :D

#20 ZeroSamuraiX

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Posted 07 October 2005 - 09:30 PM

hehe you guys are funny :)
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