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Command and Conquer: My Little Pony


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#1 Mastermind

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Posted 01 April 2006 - 07:51 AM

Today, EA came to us with an exclusive announcement. They are indeed working on a new Command and Conquer game, and we were given the opportunity to make the announcement. Now, this may surprise some of you, as it's a very radical departure from the C&C of old, but EA has realized that there is a massive fan base out there that they need to milk exploit encourage to play war games. That is of course the 7-10 age bracket. As such, they secured a license from Hasbro for the exclusive rights to a My Little Pony game.

Of course, to meet the strict standards of the ESRB for a game rated E, EA had to remove several elements of the Command and Conquer we've come to know and love. All ingame chat features have been replaced by the ability to send a smiley face. All units do not die, they simply meet, have a good chat, and decide that this war business really isn't all that great an idea. The only way to lose in the game is to leave, which inevitably leads to games lasting for over 22 hours as both players leave the computer to pursue more interesting tasks while they wait for the other to disconnect, ended when the father of one decides he needs to "blow some shit up" and goes to play Battlefield 2.

The SAGE engine has been revamped to provide the important features of a My Little Pony RTS, including
  • Bump mapping for especially detailed plastic models
  • High Dynamic Range lighting for extra cuteness
  • 37 new shades of pink house colors, for that extra level of customization
  • A create your own Pony mode, where you can choose from over 33 shades of pink hair for your pony hero
  • A new cursor using over 437 frames of animation and 333,458 shades of pink for a compelling mouse experience
  • Heavily redesigned menus featuring very little customization to avoid confusion
We will of course be monitoring the progress of this project closely, as it could turn over a new leaf in the C&C community, and provide the impetus for several interesting mods. EA had barely revealed the idea when I already had dozens of ideas for mod projects, based on such wide ranging ideas as Barbies and the Smurfs.
Posted Image

Well, when it comes to writing an expository essay about counter-insurgent tactics, I'm of the old school. First you tell them how you're going to kill them. Then you kill them. Then you tell them how you just killed them.

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#2 ched

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Posted 01 April 2006 - 12:44 PM

w00t, some great modding in perspective :p
Software is like sex; it's better when it's free ~Linus Torvald

#3 Speeder

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Posted 01 April 2006 - 12:50 PM

Awesome. Ph34r teh ponnies!!11

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#4 Mr.Graffitti

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Posted 01 April 2006 - 08:40 PM

These guys really like the April 1st.... :p

#5 Paladin58

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Posted 01 April 2006 - 09:04 PM

Ha ha very funny. When I saw the title I thought '... WTF?' But then I finished the article. I'll admit that you got me for a good span of 7 seconds.

Edited by Nology5890, 01 April 2006 - 09:05 PM.

OLD SIG
When history witnesses a great change Razgriz reveals itself,
first as a dark demon. As a demon it uses it power to rain death upon the land,
and then it dies. However after a period of slumber Razgriz returns
As the demon sleeps, man turns on man.
Its own blood, and madness soon cover the earth.
From the depths of despair awaken the Razgriz.
Its raven wings ablaze in majestic light.
Amidst the eternal waves of time
From a ripple of change shall the storm rise
Out of the abyss peer the eyes of a demon
Behold the Razgriz, its wings of black sheath
The demon soars through the dark skies
Fear and Death trail its shadow beneath
Until Men united wield a hallowed sabre
In Final Reckoning, the beast is slain.
Razgriz intrerpretation

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#6 Tom

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Posted 02 April 2006 - 01:48 PM

Anyone who fell for this needs to punch themselves hard. :rolleyes:

#7 Daeda

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Posted 02 April 2006 - 01:55 PM

:rolleyes: Funny, though you have to be an idiot to believe that ;)

#8 Kazyumi

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Posted 02 April 2006 - 06:08 PM

Lol..

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#9 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 06:46 PM

Or to truly belive that EA is that evil.

#10 Ash

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 07:05 PM

EA is evil. So is guest posting. Register, so I may ridicule you some more :p

#11 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 21 September 2011 - 11:25 PM

Guest :thumbsupsmiley: Someone is going to make something like this though ^_^

#12 Speeder

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Posted 23 September 2011 - 05:59 AM

Yeah, someone is.

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#13 Beowulf

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Posted 01 October 2011 - 12:05 PM

Back in 2006, I would have scoffed at the idea. Today... not so much.

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