40 replies to this topic

[Ash]

Okay, so I handed my notice in the other week to get out of work. I called in sick on Saturday because I couldn't be arsed and wanted to go with my grandad down the pub for some pints and a game of pool.

Then my mum comes up with the idea of going to the doctors to get a sick note. I should still get paid, and nobody will think I'm taking the piss. So I say: Hm ok sounds like a good idea.

So we use the old ear infection trick, coupled with the usual stomach bug.

It worked. I got a sick note for two weeks. Trouble is, I also have to get my ears syringed at 10am tomorrow morning.

Moral of the story? If you're going to fake illness, fake it with something like a fucking bad back that can't be cured with something that sounds both gross and painful. Let's fucking hope it's only gross and is not painful. And that this two weeks had better be fucking worth it.

<_<

[Hostile]

I always use the upset stomach one. It's not like they are gonna examine the contents of my #2.

[chemical ali]

Oh its really bad, the stuff stings as well its like some peroxide.

[Athena]

Ali, you're not helping him .

I've never faked ill so I can't say. Plus, my mum's a medical doctor, she would've noticed anyway .


Good luck Ash .

[Ash]

I always use the upset stomach one. It's not like they are gonna examine the contents of my #2.

Yeah, I shoulda gone with that. Or bad back.

Sure, I got my 2 weeks, but there's a sting in the ear tomorrow :(

[Hostile]

I wouldn't worry about it. It's just

"A long sharp pointy needle being injected into your ear, probably highly painful and massively uncomfortable"

Sounds like the spam I see at Revora. Except its injectioned into my eye.

TBH, if someone came anywhere near my ear with a needle, I'd have to punch them repeatedly. PHD or not.

[Deathblow Luc]

Reality is the ultimate compensation for all those who adverse the truth.

In other words, N-gage'd, mothafucka!

(If that didn't make sense, nevermind )

[MSpencer]

Y'see, you could have just gone without pay, now you need to get something jammed in your ear, and you have to pay for it (Well through insurance, but still), while starving children in Nairobi are still not being fed because of your bourgeois whiteman habits.
Not that it would help the starving children in Nairobi if you didn't go to the doctor though, he'd make his money somewhere else, and they'd still be starving.
Either way, it certainly does prove you right. I'm always a fan of a scratchy sounding voice over the telephone (Usually done by sticking my hands down my throat for a minute and then coughing profusely) and a bit of made up symptoms, that usually gets me out of the phone calls which come saying "Wait where are those files..."
I never decide to go to the doctor about it though!

[chemical ali]

Spencer we don't pay for health service unless you want to have like something private, we have the NHS (National Health Service).

[Ash]

Yes. That's what I'm even MORE worried about. Fucking NHS doctor.

[Az3r^]

gutted @ you tbh ash

[Ash]

England. As it turned out, nothing happened. Thankfully.

[Mullers_11]

All is well then. Got your pay for two weeks. God how I hate the NHS system here in England...

[Pastinator]

yeah, well i skived all the time and my mum was a doctor, it was sooooo easy at school, mainly homework and coursework. Stomach ache, headache and temprature are good(acheived by sticking head under duvet and pillow and breathing heavily until you sweating, then through off your duvet so it gets all cold and clammy! )

[Athena]

You got more homework at primary school then than I did. We got very little and what we had I had soon done, primary school offered little challenge if any.

[ihateharriers]

i have some pretty bad ear problems that i have to go see a specialist for ( think 1 new ear drum and only about 20% left of the other), and trust me, american doctors are just as bad as any NHS doctor - one lady i had a long time ago ripped out my left eardrum when she was removing a tube, didn't tell anybody, and 5 years later she referred me to another doctor, who happens to be my current doctor as well. the strange thing is, she wasn't the one who first noticed that a whole eardrum was missing - the family physican did, and he doesn't have a specialty degree in ears, so my thoughts are she just didn't tell anybody so as to avoid the blame, and when it was brought to her attention, she quickly refers me to another doctor - the only thing good that ever came out my experiences with that crazy bitch. so Ash, when you think of getting your ears raped by an NHS doctor, think of what i've been through - 7 sets of tubes, 1 eardrum ripped out, 1 eardrum replaced, and one that is deteriorating as we speak. but even i will admit that the thought of somebody sticking a needle in my ear and squirting hydrogen peroxide or whatever in there does scare the hell out of me, because if i remember correctly, the school told me that no matter what, rape is never fun, even if it is in the ears.

[Ash]

Oh, thanks...that's really encouraging.

At any rate, it's be hoped I dont have to go through with it, if this olive oil facade works

[Torn]

Ummm.. when does an ear infection need to be taken care of with a needle

Ear Syringing isn't like an injection LOL. A syringe is used to squirt stuff (usually warm water or something) to flush the ear out.

[Athena]

Good luck Ash, I hope that too.

ihateharriers, that sounds really not nice :(. Good luck to you too.

[ihateharriers]

i was trying to be encouraging in the manner hey, look at what i have to go through when i go to the doctors and what you do, although i'm pretty sure the last part prolly wasn't very encouraging at all so here goes: the main reason i'm afraid of having needles and stuff stuck in my ears is due in large part to the loss of the eardrum, and now when any doctor sticks something in my ears i do all that i can to prevent myself from stabbing them with those hazardous, already used needles. that a little more encouraging for you?