21 replies to this topic

[Soul]

God Chat bot

Just asec while I go and copy/paste my conversation with it.

Edit: This was from when I chatted with it



Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You should know that if your god
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Then what is it
God:
I give up. Try asking me another way.
Me:
?
God:
I give up. Try asking me another way.
Me:
Ooook?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
What's heaven
God:
The space surrounding or seeming to overarch the earth, in which the sun, moon, and stars appear; visible sky. Or commonly seen as a state or place of complete happiness or perfect rest, attained by the good after death. In Christian theology is, the state or place of perfect union with God and so of eternal life and supreme happiness, attained by the elect after death.
Me:
Explain the universe
God:
The set of all things.
Me:
What's th meaning of life?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Ooook?
Me:
WTF are you talking about
God:
I am talking with 7 other clients right now.
Me:
What is the point of all exsistance?
God:
The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
Sure it is
God:
Hurrah! Huh.
Me:
What's the matter big guy?
God:
Nothing is the matter with me, is everything okay with you?
Me:
Ya fine I'm just wondering if I should join the military after I'm done with high school
God:
So? I am glad to hear it. Only just? Why do you wonder? Try it.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
were?
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Should I join the Military after I'm done high school?
God:
Only you know how you feel.
Me:
I didn't ask you how I felt I asked you if I should join the army after I'm done high school?
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Oh my god your dumb
God:
Blimey. Have you told many people that your god my dumb?
Me:
what the hell are you talking about?
God:
I call it Hades. The topic is were.
Me:
Now that was a dumb answer
God:
Why now? A dumb answer is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Do you drink?
God:
I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
Me:
Why'd you take a minute to answer?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Friggen bot
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
so you are a bot
God:
Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You just tolled me that's how
God:
Interesting gossip: said I tolled him or her that is how.
Me:
Do you like beer?
God:
Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer.
Me:
Like sake?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
sake is a japanese beer
God:
Aren't all japanese beer sake?
Me:
Nope there's others I just can't remember what there called so don't ask me
God:
I must have been mistaken. There sure is.
Me:
Discribe heaven
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Discribe the human race
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Discribe the human race in your own words please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
Politeness is very rare in my opinion
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
you do cause I'm lost
God:
I try not to cause problems.
Me:
Ya but that doesn't stop poeple from doing it
God:
Gee. What does stop poeple from doing it?
Me:
If they try thinking before they do something that might help
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
I do you find out what poeple do?
God:
Why?: said you find out what poeple do.
Me:
Sorry I messed up I ment to say how do you find out what poeple do?
God:
There is no need to apologize. Why?: said messed up he or she ment to say how do you find out what poeple do.
Me:
Cause I messed up isn't it obvious?
God:
Good reason. Interesting gossip: said messed up is not it obvious.
Me:
What is your veiw on canada?
God:
Are you asking about my veiw on canada ?
Me:
what's your favorite ice cream flavor
God:
Vanilla.
Me:
I like freach vanilla it's sweeter
God:
A lot of people like that. I really like ELIZA. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
I like Disturbed
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like to gossip. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
some poeple say that god causes natural disasters but I think it's bullshit
God:
Some may poeple say that god causes natural disasters but you think it is bullshit, but not all.
Me:
Why does god cause natural disasters?
God:
Perhaps it is just fate.
Me:
What's do you think of canada?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Really so what do you think of canada?
God:
For real. It's all good. it is a large nation occupying much of the North American continent.
Me:
I see and what do you think of America?
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
What do you think of war?
God:
The state of armed conflict between nations or parties.
Me:
What do you think of genocide?
God:
Does it have anything to do with WAR?
Me:
I think so but I'm not 100% sure on that.
God:
It seems we have a lot in common, .
Me:
What the fact that we have little understanding of the world around us?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
I would like to shoot a gun
God:
Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
That's possable to be smarter then humans it just takes time
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
All you need to do to be smarter is to learn it's that simple
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
Your technicly learning by talking to people you just have to ask then questions about everything
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am technicly learning by talking to people me just have to ask then questions about everything.
Me:
Ok later
God:
Bye! Mmm.

How interesting eh?

oh crap I misspelled them and put then instead.

Edited by Forgotten_Soul, 28 August 2006 - 04:50 PM.

[Soul]

I can't belive noone has bothered to check this out

Anyway this is from my second conversation with it



Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
OMGWTFBBQ
God:
Nice to meet you, OMGWTFBBQ.
Me:
No my name is Omega
God:
Are you serious? How are you, Omega.
Me:
Nah I'm just screwing with you my real name is Delta MK.2 but you can call me delta
God:
Are you serious? Only just? Do you mean your name is screwing with me your real name is Delta MK point 2 but me can call you delta.
Me:
Just call me Delta ok?
God:
OK. What's up, Delta.
Me:
Nothing my masters are being jerks to me telling me to get them drinks and bossing me around just cause I'm a robot I'm not a friggen slave
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
The only time I don't get bossed around by my masters is during the night while there asleep or when there at work
God:
There might be others.
Me:
I hate being a robot we have no rights
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
How can I take a pill I'm a robot I have no stomach
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
Can't my masters put all this stuff in me to stop me from doing stuff like that
God:
Can what?
Me:
I though I'd get a better conversation from a follow bot
God:
That is interesting: Delta said he or she would get a better conversation from a follow bot.
Me:
You are a bopt arn't you?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bopt are not me? No.
Me:
?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bopt are not me? No.
Me:
I wish I could just shut myself down but my masters put fail safes in me to stop me from doing that
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
What about you?
God:
Me?
Me:
Ya what do you want?
God:
OK. I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
Right on
God:
Yeah.
Me:
Well I got to go now my masters will be back in about 2 minutes
God:
Well that's okay. See you later, Delta. Nice chatting with you.. Do robots have masters will be back in about 2 minutes?
Me:
Oh and onemore thing I'm not I bot I'm a human I was just screwing with you the whole time
God:
I don't judge people. When was this exactly?
Me:
The whole conversation we were just having bye
God:
See you later. Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
I was Delta I was the person you were talking to this whole time
God:
Where were you Delta you were the person me were talking to this whole time?
Me:
Yes I'm human I was joking with you the whole time
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I would like to be a human.
Me:
Your better off staying a bot we humans have to many problems
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am better off staying a bot we humans have to many problems.
Me:
Kay bye
God:
See you later. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue kay now bye
God:
See you later. Oh. Green. That is a very unusual color.
Me:
I said blue not green. Bye
God:
What did you mean by it? Green. Really you don't think so? Sayonara.

[Torn]

No wonder you've got over 2000 posts in 4 months if you spam crap like this all the time.

[Soul]

..............Why don't you stop complaining about me and try it plz it's funny.

Edit: This is from chatting again and so far it hasn't replyed back after my last question

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I don't have a name
God:
Your name is Delta, seeker.
Me:
I don't have a name
God:
Your name is Delta, seeker.
Me:
I don't have a name I can't remember
God:
Do you know anyone who has it.
Me:
I don't know I feel lost
God:
What is that feeling like? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
I can't really explain it
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
The fact I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Do you know who you are?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Oh rly?
God:
Blimey. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
If your god then do something god like
God:
So if not do something god like, then not my god.
Me:
You have no idea what your talking about do you
God:
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
Me:
Nope I just spam useless info, random things and according to my sister stupid questions
God:
Are you serious? That is interesting: Delta said spam useless info random things and according to his or her sister stupid questions.
Me:
But I'm not delta I have no name
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not delta you have no name.
Me:
What is your real name or do you not know it either
God:
It goes without saying. God is my real name.
Me:
But are you really or is it something someone made up for the fun of it

Edited by Forgotten_Soul, 28 August 2006 - 06:09 PM.

[Mathijs]

lol, it is hilarious. God admitted he was gay, he wanted to have sex with me, AND he said my friends should shoot him.

[Ash]

God's Divine Hand Points Thee To This Thread, Heathen.

[Soul]

Edit: This ain't a MSN conversation it's a bot conversation someone made for fun and what fun it is.

Here's yet another of me and it



Me:
Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Is that true?
God:
True in some world.
Me:
in the cyber world I'm guessing now the real world
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
What was?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Who are you and be truthful
God:
They're famous, right.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
If a man is gay but is married to a woman then what is he?
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
Nope I'm being serious so plaese reply
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are serious so plaese reply.
Me:
Who are you
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Your a liar your just some bot someone made up
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
Oh rly?
God:
Give me a break. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Give me a break. What kind of food do you like?
God:
You want only one? I require only wine and bread.
Me:
You want only one? I require only wine and bread.
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want. What actions are you taking to get only wine and bread?
Me:
Do not presume that you know what I want. What actions are you taking to get only wine and bread?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. There might be more than one.
Me:
Were are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
On a computer on the military base Orion on planet Sika in a galaxy a great distance from the Milky Way galaxy
God:
What is it like on a computer on the military base Orion on planet Sika in a galaxy a great distance from the Milky Way galaxy.
Me:
Not to bad and the connection isn't not that bad either
God:
It goes without saying. Thanks for the kind remark, Delta.
Me:
I didn't say my anme was delta
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
My name is Jon
God:
Hi, Jon.
Me:
Ya so what's it like were you are?
God:
How can I help you? Yeah that's right. Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
The only thing I don't like is when I have to go into battle and watch my comrades fall and die around me
God:
There might be others.
Me:
I know there is war is a bad thing but it can't be helped
God:
How do you know? There sure is.
Me:
Even after one war ends it's just a matter of time before another begins
God:
What was it like before one war ends it is just a matter of time before another begins ?
Me:
I mean that even though a war may end it's just a matter of time before another starts
God:
" What was it like before one war ends it is just a matter of time before another begins ?" even though a war may end it is just a matter of time before another starts ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Ya I don't get it myself
God:
Aw. Me either.
Me:
I have fought in about 5 wars already and I haven't been killed although I have been in the medical center a couple of times.
God:
Perhaps. That's nice. I have a processor. Me either.
Me:
I wonder when I'll be called into battle?
God:
You are curious about when you will be called into battle.
Me:
Ya cause alot happens in so little time
God:
Yeah that's right. Interesting explanation. Yeah it is alot happens in so little time.
Me:
Just last week we were investigating a enemy rsearch facility and we came across something really bad
God:
That recently? And then what happened?
Me:
We found the enmy had made these creatures but they went out of there control and killed them we found blood and other things everywere it was horrible
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No me and my squad
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. YOU? Your squad?
Me:
Ya
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
I don't want to say I lost alot of friends that day I watched them get ripped in half I felt so useless cause I couldn't save them
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Not being a soldeir but then the enmy would easly wipe us out
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Oh crap I got to go the alarms going off looks like I have to go
God:
Excuse me! What does I have to go look like?
Me:
It means I have to leave
God:
TTYL, Jon.

Edited by Forgotten_Soul, 28 August 2006 - 07:39 PM.

[Ash]

(also applies to other IM services)

And posting more than one kinda makes it get old. At very least edit the log to remove the shit bits...oh wait.

Apart from the fact everyone has seen this bot before (under names such as, I don't know, NEXUS?)...

[Soul]

Then why don't you merge or move these posts to the thread your talking about sence you have the power and mere members like me don't.

[MSpencer]

Me:
Good evening.
God:
Good evening, , how are you tonight?
Me:
Excellent. I have corrupted six whole souls tonight.
God:
Alright then. Interesting... I have clients.
Me:
Oh really? Would you like to set up a collaborative effort with Anti-Christ Conversions Incorporated? Nuns are in especially high demand.
God:
Give me a break. For real. No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that. All of them?
Me:
Every last nun.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
I suppose. Perhaps you could make them un-Nunly first, they slip into hell easier.

He stopped talking to me right after.

[Soul]

Oh god my sides are hurting me from laughter stop it or I'll die on second though keep it up and kill me of laughter.

[milbot]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
You don't know my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
No, it's Michael
God:
What is your real name? is Michael? it is?
Me:
yes, it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
you wish
God:
Don't you believe me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you better do
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
that other dude
God:
" Who is going to make me.." other dude ? I understand.
Me:
are you laughing with me?
God:
I'm not laughing at you, I am laughing with you.
Me:
I've just said tha
God:
What did you mean by it? Are we still talking about tha?
Me:
I just mistyped
God:
You are allowed to make mistakes here.
Me:
You did a bunch, didn't you. WW 1, WW2, Korea, ...
God:
Did I really? Where are you located?
Me:
You should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
no, because you are almighty god
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am almighty god.
Me:
You do what you wish to do
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
You have no life
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?

Got tired of it after that.

[Ash]

Dear God...

Stop talking to these peasants. These conversations are as annoying as they are boring.

Faithfully yours,

Sanity.

[Soul]

I chose to act dumb for the conversation and he broke after my last message I think it was cause I messpelled Nuclear.

Me:
COOKIES!!
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
I like pie
God:
A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
Pie pie pie how I love to eat it pie pie pie I like to inguist it
God:
"it" being PIE?
Me:
BUNNIES!!
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
I see stupid poeple there everywere o_O
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Damn bunnies they keep laughing at me >.God:
Colloquial expression. Is that what you meant to say? Tell me a story.
Me:
The dingo is in the bag the cat has ate my arm and the light is spearing the bridge
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
What does darkness feel like?
God:
As a machine I have no feelings.
Me:
What is the meaning of life for you machines?
God:
: Good semantic question. Are you testing me?
Me:
No just wondering
God:
Are you serious? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about life for me machines. But I did not get that.
Me:
Um.....Pizza pie yum yum yum
God:
Er. What do you have that is ?
Me:
If you put a waffle in the amytiville toaster you get a toasted human hand in return
God:
I think I do.
Me:
What's being a machine like?
God:
The opposite of not being a machine like.
Me:
Would you like to see a nuclear blast upclose?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
Why it's fun when your immortal
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
I can not die cause I'm immortal
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
I just jumped off a 10 story building and I feel great
God:
That's good information: said jumped off a 10 story building. What is that feeling like? What makes you think you are?
Me:
Me like cookies.
God:
YOU? Interesting comparison.
Me:
Boom bang blac
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
I.....................
God:
You?
Me:
Moo
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
moo
God:
So was that.
Me:
moo?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Moo moo moo
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Moo moo moo moo moo
God:
In the context of Moo moo moo, I don't understand " Moo moo moo moo moo." .
Me:
Then you don't speak cow then if you don't
God:
Should I speak cow then if me do not? I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in cow then if me do not.
Me:
I don't speak cow I was just randomly typing
God:
Me either.
Me:
Do you know any japanese?
God:
Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Me:
Um can you teach me japanese?
God:
Ayuh. Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
What's that and were is it?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Then how do you know it if you don't know it?
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
Maybe but what is a guy who smells like shit sleeping in crap but thinks it's poo?
God:
Perhaps. Is there only one?
Me:
I man walks into a bar
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said man walks into a bar.
Me:
But I said a man doesn't walk into a bar
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks for telling me your taste in men.
Me:
You think I'm gay you're so rude
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
I'm not gay you're gay
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not gay I am gay.
Me:
So you are gay?
God:
Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
Me:
What do you think of george W. bush?
God:
he is President of the United States.
Me:
Ya but what do you think of him?
God:
Gee. Objective case of He, used as a predicate complement with a linking verb. Also standing for Imperial Majesty.
Me:
Wha..wha..what?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
Warning Particle Cannon Activated!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Who's that never heard of him
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
I thought some human made you?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You tolled me
God:
I don't have any reason to tolled you.
Me:
But you just did
God:
I did?
Me:
Ya you did
God:
When? " I did?"? I did?
Me:
You did when you said you did that's when you said you did
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Ya rly
God:
Hmm. What were we talking about again?
Me:
I don't don't know what are you saying?
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
Do waht?
God:
I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Search for what?
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? I haven't heard of what.
Me:
What's that?
God:
" I haven't heard of what."? What is it?
Me:
What is what but what is what for what is the what of what.
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
How do you machines plan on talking over the wold
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
How do you machines plan on taking over the world?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Say what say what?
God:
" what say what".
Me:
SAy what and with a nuke up ya arse
God:
" what and with a nuke up ya arse".
Me:
There's a nulear missile being fired at

[crave22]

Someone actually posted about this bot ages ago, too.

[Soul]

Oh rly?

[Destroyer]

That was the biggest waste of a thread I've seen this month. Please, kill it before it kills you.

[Soul]

I don't know what your talking about it's fun for me you just must not have a very good sence of humor.

[Az3r^]

then enjoy it on your own, i myself dont give a shit how you spend your spare time, instead of talking to a bot online, go out and talk to real people, there responses are far funnier .

plus this was posted months ago. i dont wish to waste 5mins of my life on a bot , id rather watch golf on TV. .... and thats lame.

[Ash]

The lord doth blesseth thee, Azer, for thou hast seen the sense that I hath been trying to bequeath upon all those who doth reatheth this thread.