1312 replies to this topic

[Vortigern]

Granted, you are able to move out into a single room occupancy. The toilet is down the hall, past everyone else's lodgings. One day the ceiling falls in halfway between your room and the bathroom, so you are unable to attend to basic natural bodily functions until it is fixed, which will be quite some time. You spend days depositing your faecal matter in the corner of your room, eventually resorting to eating it because you ran out of food too. Gross.

I wish I had longer than a week off before my exams. Well, my exam, anyway.

[Spectre]

Granted, you fool around the whole month before your exam, and before you know it, the exam is given to you; because of your poorly spent time, you forgot most of the material and fail the class.

I wish I had something better to do.

[Vortigern]

Granted, you have a thesis to write and a high-powered business meeting to attend. That's better, but it's pretty fuckin' hard. You fail, lose both your attempted degree and your job with the business people, then you get thrown out of the building. Sadly, they didn't bother taking you downstairs first and just went over to the window. You fall 45 stories onto a bouncy castle, fortunately, but a moment later an aeroplane flies into the building you just left in inimitable style seding flames, rubble and burnt corpses tumbling down around you. You are hit by an office and killed.

By the way, my exams are all done now. I'm just chillin' these days.

I wish animals could talk. (By the way, eating talking animals wouldn't bother me.)

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but the dogs only talk about eating cats and giving other dogs golden showers before they fuck them, and the cats only talk about how they can't wait until they get into heat again.

I wish I didn't have to go the last four days of school, which includes today.

[Allathar]

Granted. You never have to go to school again, but because of that have no education, and therefore no job. You spend the rest of your pathetic life living with your parents.

I wish I could think of a good idea for the writing competition.

[Vortigern]

Granted, you come up with a fantastic idea, but the next day both your hands are severed in a freak accident. Typing takes a long time with hooks, and you don't finish it in time for the deadline. Sadness ensues.

I wish I had more food in my room.

[{IRS}Athos]

Granted, but it's the fecal matter you were referring to earlier.

I wish that I could get another monitor to hook up to my dead processor.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but it's Peter Griffin's ass with a piece of glass.

I wish I could spend more then a week at my old town.

[{IRS}Athos]

Granted, but on the eighth day of that time you are tracked down by all of the Revora members whose fun you ruined by deleting a flamewar and in the ensuing chaos, your town is burned down to ashes.

I wish for an ashtray.

[Vortigern]

Granted, the ashtray is delivered like a frisbee straight into your face. Ever been hit in the face with a heavy glass ashtray? *smash* From now on, your answer to that question shall be 'Yes!'

I wish all the hilarious stories from the Goon Show were real. (50's British radio comedy. Genius.)

[GodSun666]

Whish granted. But then you noticed something strance it was the year 50 AC.

I wish nothing.

[{IRS}Athos]

You get something anyway, and die of despair.

I wish for fairy godparents.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, it's the alternative family. They force you to wish to have a gay 3-way.

I wish I was in Anacortes.