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Varin Rax, the student of Gaurr Zant


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#21 Copaman

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 12:31 AM

Very nice, excellent grammur (sic, :p) and such.

We shouldn't be too long now. Just a little bit of drama going to unfold with my character, but killing Vayu shouldn't take too terribly long. Once we find him...

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If you meet me:

Have some courtesy,

Have some sympathy,

And some taste.

Use all your well-learned politesse,

Or I'll lay your soul to waste.


#22 Vortigern

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 12:38 AM

That's actually rather well written, congratulations. A couple of spelling errors and typos, but other than that, absolutely fine. We've all seen far worse than that around here. :p

My single tip would be that I prefer to use quotation marks for speech rather than apostrophes, but for written text convention dictates that either is acceptable. It really is nothing more than personal preference.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#23 Copaman

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 12:56 AM

That's actually rather well written, congratulations. A couple of spelling errors and typos, but other than that, absolutely fine. We've all seen far worse than that around here. :p

My single tip would be that I prefer to use quotation marks for speech rather than apostrophes, but for written text convention dictates that either is acceptable. It really is nothing more than personal preference.



QFT. Both parts, but emphasis on the second.

@ Vort: Were you around for "The Keerdak Empire"? His posts were atrocious...

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If you meet me:

Have some courtesy,

Have some sympathy,

And some taste.

Use all your well-learned politesse,

Or I'll lay your soul to waste.


#24 Vortigern

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 12:58 AM

No, I thankfully managed to avoid him. The worst I can remember were SWG, Segway and Jenkins before everyone started complaining at them. :p
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#25 Copaman

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 01:03 AM

A sample of TKE, just for you. For anything more elaborate you'll have to ask Ash, who suffered through him as well.

"Adn teh layzur kapow teh ship from earth survivors no exist The Keerdak Empire is win the fight."

A.K.A.

"Someone set up us the bomb!"
"All your base are belong to us."
"Remove all zig!"



BIG /groan. It was a headache for all of us at the time. And it was also the source of my first epic post here at Revora... I was so proud of myself... /cry /composeshimself

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If you meet me:

Have some courtesy,

Have some sympathy,

And some taste.

Use all your well-learned politesse,

Or I'll lay your soul to waste.


#26 some_weirdGuy

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 11:03 AM

Yeah, i am pretty terrible. :p

I use to be worse (poor people at the diablo evolution forum, having to endure me...)
that was before i got the spelling checker, which helped a lot with spelling, but punctuation stayed as bad as ever
(at one point we started talking about what the most amusing error i made was, and it would have had to have been when i spelled butcher "buture" ... terrible, i know)

But i am trying now(with punctuation that is), and it is a bit better.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own" -Adam Savage, Mythbusters
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#27 Taralom

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 12:30 PM

That's actually rather well written, congratulations. A couple of spelling errors and typos, but other than that, absolutely fine. We've all seen far worse than that around here. :shiftee:

One of the reasons I joined is because i want to improve my spelling :p
so please, if you could tell me.

My single tip would be that I prefer to use quotation marks for speech rather than apostrophes, but for written text convention dictates that either is acceptable. It really is nothing more than personal preference.


well, if it's not to difficult, then i'd like to keep writing like this... It's the way I work, and changing it would be... difficult^^
If the above post offended you in any way,
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#28 Vortigern

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 01:03 PM

I'm afraid we must act,' one of the five shady figures said. He looked around the drak dark room,; his eyes met with those of the others. The room was tiny, and had and had an ancient, natural look. Limestone pillars supported a stone roof, coverd with tiny light-emitting plants and other forms of life. The room was only accessible through a wooden doorway. On the ohter other side of the imposing door lay a courtroom, in which these shady figures gave their orders in name of Umbar, the faction these men supported.
'Who then are we going to send? Supreme master, this could be a dangerous task, and it must not be taken lightly!'
The Supreme master adjusted his hood before replying. 'I was thinking of sending Maur and his student.' He looked around the room, and saw that one of the figures came forward and kneeled. 'Fourth master, rise and speak.'
'Thank you, Supreme one.' The fourth master despised the endless traditions of these meetings, but he was careful not to show that. 'I would suggest sending Gaurr Zant and his student.'
'What? Varin Rax?' One of the shady figured stepped forward, clearly the second master. 'Agreed, the boy is talented, but sending him would only mean his...'
'Silence!' The Supreme master cut him off. 'The fourth master has a point. Varin is turning 21 next week, and he will be taking his exam then. This could be some training for the boy.'
'But, Supreme one!' the second master muttered stuttered. ('Muttered' just isn't appropriate for what you meant. It has a different meaning.)
'No! I feel that this boy is touched by destiny. Send for Gaurr and Varin immediatly immediately!'
The other masters bowed, and quickly walked away, in search for of the two magicians.


There you go, I think that's everything. If you want to use apostrophes for speech, that's fine. As I said, it's simply personal preference.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#29 Taralom

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Posted 09 January 2009 - 01:27 PM

okay!
well, the first few are obviously typo's, and the last few are spelling mistakes.

thanks!
If the above post offended you in any way,
please take note that, until further notice, I don't care, so get lost.

#30 Vortigern

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 03:02 PM

OK, Taralom, I'm about to set up the opening for Chapter 2. This would be the opportune moment for you to announce your entry to the group.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#31 Taralom

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 04:08 PM

sure, i'll finish the post tonight.

Wouldn't it be easier to have an on-topic with all of the stories, and an off-topic with all the spam and non-story stuff?
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#32 Vortigern

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 06:39 PM

For the most part, the off-topic stuff just sits at the bottom of the main Arsencia page. There are a couple of off-topic threads in the History and Lore section, but those are the ones that are strictly relevant to the story but not actually a part of said story.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#33 Taralom

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 06:57 PM

What i meant is two topics.

-Ontopic (for the story only)
-offtopic (for all the Cr*p that is now placed inside the posts :p )
If the above post offended you in any way,
please take note that, until further notice, I don't care, so get lost.

#34 Vortigern

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 07:46 PM

Ah yes, I've been trying to tell people off about that, but nobody listens to me. :p I try to move all the solidly off-topic posts out of the storyline, but generally it's all mixed in. A note to everyone right here: don't do it! The storyline is for the storyline!
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#35 Copaman

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 09:33 PM

But! But! But!

What about off topic stuff that is extremely important and is slightly related to the storyline?!

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If you meet me:

Have some courtesy,

Have some sympathy,

And some taste.

Use all your well-learned politesse,

Or I'll lay your soul to waste.


#36 Vortigern

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 10:16 PM

That's what off-topic topics are for. Speaking of which, this is a character topic. Go make a new thread and we'll discuss this. :p
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#37 Copaman

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 10:37 PM

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

I reject this oppression! I'm gonna start a revolution here in Arsencia and have you deposed!

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If you meet me:

Have some courtesy,

Have some sympathy,

And some taste.

Use all your well-learned politesse,

Or I'll lay your soul to waste.


#38 some_weirdGuy

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Posted 13 January 2009 - 11:05 PM

Infidels!!!

lalalalalalalalala, hail to the jihad! and whatnot

Anyway, taralom, how are you planning to join up with the group? Just meet us on your travels?

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#39 Taralom

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Posted 14 January 2009 - 12:58 PM

I'll write towards you :p
There are a few things i need to write first, to get my own storyline going, and then I'll start travelling and meet you somewhere :crazed:
If the above post offended you in any way,
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#40 Taralom

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Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:30 AM

I was wondering what kind of transport would be possible with magic.
you see, I saw Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince yesterday, and those deatheaters could somehow dematerialize and fly. Would that kind of transportation be possible in Arsencia?

If yes, I wasn't thinking of implementing the exact thing, more like melting a human being with it's own shadow to a phase in between, not flesh nor shadow. Would take some time to start, and cannot be done for great distances, since there are some side effects.

Edit: A fast (positive) answer will be rewarded with a post from my side :)

Edited by Taralom, 28 July 2009 - 09:39 AM.

If the above post offended you in any way,
please take note that, until further notice, I don't care, so get lost.




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