8 replies to this topic

[True Lord of Chaos]

(The lyrics are sung similar to Hard to See by Five Finger Death Punch)
The overwhelming shadow
It clouds my mind, I'll never know
If the light is friend or foe
All I see is black like the feather of a crow

I'll never know happiness
Just this bitter cold
I'll never know happiness
Just what I've been told

I'll not give in, I'll not bow (No, I wasn't listening to I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin)
I'll fight on, it won't end now
Even if I'm branded like a cow
This bitter life is so foul

I'll never know happiness
Just this bitter cold
I'll never know happiness
Just what I've been told

*Insane Solo*

In this cold shadow of death
I can only see my breath
If only one person I could see
I would want it to be me

I'll never know happiness
Just this bitter cold
I'll never know happiness
Just what I've been told *echo*

[Puppeteer]

I groaned at the title.

[Pasidon]

Elaborate "Insane Solo".

[True Lord of Chaos]

I'm guessing it's been used many times before?

[Vortigern]

For your next batch of lyrics, try something completely different. Write a song about cheese. Or teeth. Or tennis. There aren't enough songs about tennis.

All these lyrics you post up are horribly derivative and clichéd. It's all I can do not to wince. I'm now going to recommend a band to you, and I hope you take this seriously. This band is called Hurt, and they have released four albums to date. Pay special attention to the first two, named simply Vol. I and Vol. II. There is some true lyrical genius in there. Listen to them about five hundred times over then give lyrics-writing another go.

Incidentally, I am currently listening to I Will Not Bow, by Breaking Benjamin. I only got hold of the new album yesterday.

[Pasidon]

For your next batch of lyrics, try something completely different. Write a song about cheese. Or teeth. Or tennis. There aren't enough songs about tennis.

That's true. I think it was Arcade Fire who made a song about toast (Yeah Toast) and it was wildly successful.

[Mathijs]

Your lyrics are so cliché'd... I recommend some Tool.

[{IRS}Athos]

"Yeah Toast" was an amazing song.

[True Lord of Chaos]

I've actually heard some songs by Hurt, they're not too bad. A little emo for me, though.