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#81 Vortigern

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Posted 12 December 2009 - 06:09 PM

This is all you need.

Take that, causality.
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#82 Ash

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Posted 12 December 2009 - 11:10 PM

Sure, gun tech is good, and you could take over civilisation, but what then? What are you going to do different? You can't exactly give them advanced computer tech because you don't know how. More to the point, they don't know how. They wouldn't know where to begin! They could make an abacus but they wouldn't know the first thing about how to even make a valve computer (probably not even a valve) let alone a processor chip.

Electricity? Uh, no...not likely. Even so, what would you power with it? Technology is a very chicken-or-egg thing. Short of conquering the world for a brief period, whereupon your legacy would end (either having been assassinated or died of poor medical care or dysentery), you would accomplish nothing for the greater good of humanity.

#83 Allathar

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Posted 13 December 2009 - 01:42 PM

Ah, but that's not my goal. The goal was to rule the world and enjoy myself while I'm doing it. I wouldn't care about very advanced technology that much... I'd just let the people build a big-ass statue of me. That way, when archeologists dig it up thousands of years later, they think 'wow, that guy must've been someone totally awesome, he ruled the fucking world!'
It has been reported that some victims of rape, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not WAKE UP. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren't being raped. The only way that they realized they needed to WAKE UP was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to WAKE UP. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and PLEASE WAKE UP

#84 Vortigern

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 02:38 PM

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned the previous night.

Discuss.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.

#85 Elvenlord

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 03:30 PM

Daylight savings ^_^

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#86 Allathar

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 04:07 PM

That, combined with the GMT shit.
It has been reported that some victims of rape, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not WAKE UP. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren't being raped. The only way that they realized they needed to WAKE UP was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to WAKE UP. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and PLEASE WAKE UP

#87 Vortigern

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 05:29 PM

What about the International Date Line? (Surprisingly, not an escort service.) When I came back from Fiji I spent 27 hours on planes and in airports, and arrived in England after 3 hours. I lived May 1st, 2008 twice.
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#88 Mathijs

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 05:35 PM

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned the previous night.

Discuss.

The sun is the same, in a relative way, but you're older. Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death.

No fuel left for the pilgrims


#89 Vortigern

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 09:52 PM

Pink Floyd high five!
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#90 Beowulf

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 09:56 PM

You forgot the epic solo that follows that verse. ^_^

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#91 Ash

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Posted 17 December 2009 - 05:14 PM

I counter with:

Whenever life get you down, Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite enough....

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at 900 miles an hour
That's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our power
The sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way

Our galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars
It's 100,000 light-years side-to-side
It bulges in the middle, 16,000 light-years thick
But out by us it's just 3000 light-years wide
We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point
We go round every 200 million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
Because there's bugger all down here on Earth


#92 Vortigern

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Posted 17 December 2009 - 05:46 PM

What I love about this song is how they clearly did loads of research and spent a long time writing it just for the sake of that joke in the last line. Thank god for the Pythons.
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#93 Ash

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Posted 17 December 2009 - 06:59 PM

Indeed. British comedy's greatest accolade.




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