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I am a lemon


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#1 Kwen

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 12:39 AM

Because Jupiter engulfed mercury, and the lemon cakes have latched onto my brain.

And I swear, these damn leprechauns are going to get me one day. But I'm ready, got my bat a ready fo swingin. Them damn bastards have got it coming.

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#2 mike_

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 01:55 AM

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#3 Elvenlord

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 01:59 AM

So I'm not the only one who thought of Chef Brian.

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#4 Beowulf

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 02:57 AM

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#5 Romanul

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 09:12 PM

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#6 Pasidon

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Posted 25 December 2010 - 06:35 AM

I knew a guy who was killed while eating a lemon... ... is it too soon for a Nine-Eleven joke or can I keep this one going?

#7 Allathar

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Posted 25 December 2010 - 01:04 PM

Nah, go ahead. 9/11 jokes are politically incorrect and therefore double fun :p
It has been reported that some victims of rape, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not WAKE UP. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren't being raped. The only way that they realized they needed to WAKE UP was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to WAKE UP. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and PLEASE WAKE UP

#8 Mathijs

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Posted 25 December 2010 - 04:17 PM

Politically incorrect is the new politically correct.

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#9 Allathar

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Posted 26 December 2010 - 12:38 AM

You are going to like this. True story. It was the end of 8th grade, and my best friend threw a little party because his parents were away for a couple days. What kind of party can a 8th grader throw, you know? So only about 7 people showed up. 6 dudes...1 girl.
Just as you would expect, some crazy shit happened. This girl was a freak, but hot as hell. She would always have that seductive look on her face... the kind that gets you aroused just by looking at her. We were all good friends in school, but never really chilled outside of it. We were all about 14, and really sexually inexperienced. This girl however, has fucked at least 20 different guys. From the moment she walked in the house, we could tell what she wanted.
Lost in her desire, she began to grind up on the host. They made out for about 10 mins, but this girl wanted more. She made us all go into the host's room, and play a modified version of spin the bottle. Basically, instead of just making out, she would decide what to do with the guy. At first we were shy, but pretty soon we all started to jack off while the girl did whatever she pleased.
The situation quickly escalated. She was getting fucked in turns, by 3 different guys, fighting over her pussy like the kids that they were. I would've joined them, but then she waved me to come over. My dick was probably the hardest its ever been. Sticking straight out, and pulsating; I felt like it was gonna explode. To my surprise, she grabbed it and just stuck it in her mouth without warning. I had never had my dick sucked before, but let me tell you, it was amazing.
Game as it was, I was ready to cum in seconds. I didn't know what to do, so I asked her where I should blow my load. And at that moment, she said something I will never forget. She turned to me and said, "read the first word of each paragraph."
It has been reported that some victims of rape, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not WAKE UP. In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren't being raped. The only way that they realized they needed to WAKE UP was a note they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to WAKE UP. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and PLEASE WAKE UP

#10 Rafv Nin IV

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Posted 26 December 2010 - 04:51 AM

The pedophile in me was cranking to get out, too...

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#11 Master Windu

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Posted 26 December 2010 - 07:13 PM

You are going to like this. True story. It was the end of 8th grade, and my best friend threw a little party because his parents were away for a couple days. What kind of party can a 8th grader throw, you know? So only about 7 people showed up. 6 dudes...1 girl.
Just as you would expect, some crazy shit happened. This girl was a freak, but hot as hell. She would always have that seductive look on her face... the kind that gets you aroused just by looking at her. We were all good friends in school, but never really chilled outside of it. We were all about 14, and really sexually inexperienced. This girl however, has fucked at least 20 different guys. From the moment she walked in the house, we could tell what she wanted.
Lost in her desire, she began to grind up on the host. They made out for about 10 mins, but this girl wanted more. She made us all go into the host's room, and play a modified version of spin the bottle. Basically, instead of just making out, she would decide what to do with the guy. At first we were shy, but pretty soon we all started to jack off while the girl did whatever she pleased.
The situation quickly escalated. She was getting fucked in turns, by 3 different guys, fighting over her pussy like the kids that they were. I would've joined them, but then she waved me to come over. My dick was probably the hardest its ever been. Sticking straight out, and pulsating; I felt like it was gonna explode. To my surprise, she grabbed it and just stuck it in her mouth without warning. I had never had my dick sucked before, but let me tell you, it was amazing.
Game as it was, I was ready to cum in seconds. I didn't know what to do, so I asked her where I should blow my load. And at that moment, she said something I will never forget. She turned to me and said, "read the first word of each paragraph."


Hahahahaha

Epic.
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#12 Ash

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 10:27 AM

LOL. You bastard, Allathar...

#13 Beowulf

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 04:09 PM

You didn't realize that was copypasta? Come on, CJ. Goddamn.

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#14 Ash

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 05:57 PM

I am well aware it was a copy-paste, Fenny - I've just never seen it before and I found it funny. :p

#15 Beowulf

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Posted 28 December 2010 - 04:30 AM

K. If you say so. :p

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