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Pasidon Vs. Election 2012


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#1 Pasidon

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:20 AM

Suspense! Who will win the 2012 election? Who will gag on the inaugural trophy and vomit 4 years of sunshine and happiness? Well... I'll tell you after after the votes are counted.

So the booths are set and the tickets are primed... meaning it's that time of year again: another flipping 007 movie. But enough about that (even though I've heard more about James sodding Bond than the election). It's election time! And just to keep it to what people care about, I won't talk about anyone silly like members of congress. No, we only care if the black or white dude wins. Keepin' it realz.

For you European viewers out there, a US election is very easily defined. For example:

hjngfvgbyhjhuikm jbfvf6t7uk b vvymjm,

That's me, beating my head against my keyboard. The only real way for a rational mind, such as Pasidon, to make it through an election happily is to be beaten in the face-head multiple times with a solid, blunt object. But all seriousness aside, America. Land of Democrats and Republicans. People so molested by arrogance, they probably just got upset because of the way I ordered Republicans and Democrats in this sentence just now. These two parties deal with the important issues in this country, such as "what kind of dog will live in the White House" and "who's having an affair". There are also issues like dead babies and rainbow weddings, but who cares? Probably you... so stop that. So how will the next president be chosen? Thanks for asking, dummy. He will be chosen based on the amount of cool tokens he gathers. Can he do slam dunks? Does he like eating chicken? It's your own fault if you found this racist yet... but it still stands. One man promising to eradicate all Sith lords from the galaxy will probably get less votes than the other guy eating a slim-jim outside of a Burger King.

Here's my opinion on the topic of current American political squabbles: they're dumb. My opinion is easy to understand and honest, unlike any 21st century politician. ZIng. But no... really, the guys running are respectable and honest men. Anyway, enough with the jokes, I'm going to be very cool and put my aviators on and tell you kids (ages 9 - 87) not to vote. Pasidon knows what some of you are thinking... that's a terrible thing to ask for! Oh my gawd! He must be on lots of cocaine! Maybe, but who cares. If my intellectual awesomeness has no place in modern politics, then hog wash. I won't be telling you fools to vote. Mitt DVD-ROM is a Mormon robit who cares about his hairline more than American industry and the black guy is about as useless as his friggin' dimsy wife. Actually... no. Maybe you should go vote. Vote for the Libertarian, Gary Johnson. If he gets the votes, then you can only imagine me in my cave laughing sinisterly at my computer screen. If you watched the debates and have a good diea who to vote for, then bully for you. You watched robits calculate their opponent's stupidity and openly mocking them for it.

Alright, you'll get my opinion on who's winning. It's obviously going to be that obnoxious buffoon, Obama. Again... I guess 4 years of terrible decisions and no positive progress isn't enough. Go figure, since we live in a society of people who liked to be abused. But seriously... more people have said they are going to vote for Pasidon than Mitt. Very flattering... but I would just tell the reporters to sod off and get bent. My greatest dream, obviously. But anywho, I'm off to deal with real political issues in the world of Skyrim. The Jarl of Whiterun wants me to go slay sum giants, and I will gladly do so, in the name of liberty! Vote Stormcloak!

#2 duke_Qa

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 10:55 AM

I prefer silent but deadly presidents to bumbling and insane ones. So for me a democratic president equals boring but most likely constructive politics, not only for Merica but also for the world.

"I give you private information on corporations for free and I'm a villain. Mark Zuckerberg gives your private information to corporations for money and he's 'Man of the Year.'" - Assange


#3 Mathijs

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 12:39 PM

The problem with American politics is simple: There are two sides who hate each other and will continue to do so forever, and yet need each other's support to govern (senate), which means nothing is going to change. Don't blame Obama for pushing too little change, blame the system and its record of dysfunction.

I have tried explaining the Dutch (and generally European) method of forming an elected government through cooperation in the form of cabinets in which different parties compromise in an attempt to push the country forward, but it's lost on most Americans.

Polarization = stagnation. Forever.

No fuel left for the pilgrims


#4 Pasidon

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 09:26 PM

I like blaming Obama just like people like blaming George Bush for no reason.

Americans don't want European things. They want terrible policies and very untrustworthy leaders. Like I said, Americans like to seem abused by their own politics so terrorists feel bad for them. They even wrote a letter to the terrorists!
---------------------------------------------
dear musslims,
we no want die. obama mean 2 us. please rebuild 9/11 buildings.

love, amerika
--------------------------------------------
Facts.




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