I ran out of milk today. ... I'm not very happy about this.
(I think this is from the right show)
"Man, Pasidon. You're so edgy and spunk'erful. Hating things people like is so retro and gender-specific of you!" You'd never lie to me. Game of Thrones is a TV show based on a series of raunchy romantic novels targeted at 40 year old women who like reading about young women being molested by criminals. In a land of fantasy and magic, in a world called Game of Thrones'y Earth, lots of people start panicking because Splinter is coming. Ninja Turtle people... if you pay me money, I will insert more jokes related to your franchise. But enough about your problems... in the show, a few king'ly people do very king'ly things and occasionally people die. That's all I ask for. It was like a magical ride in my fan-fiction of Space Jam. There were midgets, horses being decapitated, fat people having food drip from their mouths... it was wonderful. Then season 1 ended, and the show all of a sudden became attire optional. Yikers...
I was a human boy, just like you... watching Game of Thrones. Season 1 was very magical. Season 2... people just started lounging around and talking about crap. No... they literally talked about poop. And the nudity was like a stocking filled with coal. I can keep my family of antique porcine dolls warm with that coal, but we're all dying because our hovel is now filled with disgusting dehydrated vomit and none of us can find the door. If a family can't leave their own home... they die. It's science. Read the Muslim Book. It has all the religions. And then the end of season 2 came, and it promised many cool things. Like ice zombies and actual battle scenes. So with much anticipation, I watched season 3. ... More sitting around castles and accomplishing nothing... more nude people touching each other... more children using swear words... more wine... lots of wine. I told you it was targeted to 40 year old women. It's a world where water doesn't exist. Again, the entire season was filled with trash, and I had to wait for the final 2 episodes for it to get interesting. No ice pirates, like I was promised... or whatever they were. Ice Nazis.
This show has a huge amount of fan service, but unfortunately, all that fan service goes to people who enjoy licking their crusty lips when ye' olde nude party bus comes out of the latrine. I recall a battle scene that almost happened. Curly Joe comes out on his horse and charges at an enemy camp. It fades to black, and we got nothing. I also recall a scene where Curly Joe has a face licking contest with a gangly peasant woman and we had to watch the whole 2 minutes of that. Again... I did say these books were raunchy sex novels. Yet, 2 seconds of an almost battle and 2 minutes of very raunchy non-content with lots of idling around isn't what I signed up for. I have the contract right here. I forged my own signature on the bottom line, so I'm supposed to be guaranteed multiple horse decapitations, ye' olde fart jokes, disgusting fat people, and ice robots. I want milk. I'm going to the gas station to get more.
