I'm not going to offer to help lead this one, but I will give you a brief list right here of what's crap about Star Wars.
1) The droids have full power of free will and self-control. This is, by all reckonings, more or less impossible. I know it's a fantasy film, but it just couldn't happen, and it annoys me because the films purport to take themselves seriously.
2) C3-PO.
3) How everyone understands everything everyone says. Like, how Han Solo can understand Chewbacca's random camel noises. That is simply impossible, because the way the Wookie language seems to work is mostly by inflection and context, which an unsubtle human used to the different meanings of words would just not be able to grasp.
4) The force. Bollocks to it, it's just magic given a stupid name.
5) Jar Jar Binks.
6) Hayden Christensen.
7) The "science" they claim to use. Faster-than-light travel is only possible via wormhole manipulation technology or parallel dimension-hopping. You can't just go faster than the speed of light, like the Millennium Falcon does. You can't even go close to the speed of light, because of the equations of the equations of FTL travel. See Einstein for more details. Essentially, to travel at the speed of light a particle with no mass (i.e. light) must contain/possess infinite energy. A particle with mass must therefore have access to greater than infinite energy in order to reach the speed of light, which I'm sure you'll agree is impossible. The only theoretical (and highly implausible) instance of FTL travel is the Alcubierre Drive, which works by expanding the space behind in order to contract the space in front, while travelling at ridiculously high speeds anyway.
8) So many bloody aliens. It's likely that there are an infinite number of alien species out there in the universe, but it's kind of a big place. I don't doubt that the aliens are there somewhere, but the odds of so many of them being in the same part of space are astronomical (pun intended).
9) Think of an entirely new plot, one which should not be based around the force in any way, seeing as any self-respecting future universe would pour nothing but scorn on a council of naturally gifted magicians who claim to be wiser and better than the majority by virtue of a mystical entity nobody understands and few even know exists.
10) Things can't explode in space! Never ever ever! It's a complete and absolute vacuum and the explosions they portray in the films are huge by any standards. There is no oxygen in space! Fires cannot burn because there is nothing to burn! Fires need oxygen, heat and fuel. Space has only one of these, which is fuel, and even then the pressure and density differences between the compressions of the travelling ship and the perfect vacuum of space would disperse all particles so quickly that an explosion could not take place. Things would simply fall apart.
More coming soon, but I need breakfast now.
Edited by Vortigern, 18 May 2008 - 10:15 AM.
I hope I am a good enough writer that some day dwarves kill me and drink my blood for wisdom.
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