223 replies to this topic

[Pasidon]

I've become obsessed with this franchise. No comments on the books since I've never read them, but the movie franchise for Twilight so far... I love it! It's rare to see a movie so easy to insult and criticize these days. And the Vampire genera has never been worse.

A Twilight Vampire:
-Just rips away at a victim to death
-Is impossibly fast at random times
-Knows where everyone on earth is and when they are in danger
(And My favorite Part) -Sparkle when they go into sunlight

The main character (Edward) is a vampire, 100 years old, and is dating a 17 year old girl. So that makes him a child molester, so I'm hysterical how young girls love to read about really old guys stalking and touching high school girls.

And here's the plot to the first movie:
-Girl moves to a town
-Falls in love with a vampire
-Other vampires come
-They kill one of them for no reason
-Vampire and girl dance
-...

Romantic... And here's the plot to the next movie I can't wait for, New Moon:
-Girl tried to commit suicide to get vampire boyfriend back
-Fails
-Vampire boyfriend thinks she's dead, so he tried to kill himself (rich stupidity)
-FAILS
-They fall in love after more useless plot

How do I know the next movie's plot? Well the trailers basically give it all away!

Post your irrational and senseless comments on this great franchise.

[Caspa]

It's the biggest piece of shit in vampire history and I've seen a lot of shit in my time. The only company to get even close to a believable vampire lore is White Wolf.

Twitlight is quite possibly the greatest engineered money grab movie of all time. It mixes everything that sells to teen girls in one big pile of shit, and they (teen girls) eat it up. Enjoy eating shit ladies.

[Rattuskid]

If Blade was fighting these vamps, he'd ave them extinct in a week.

[Dant]

Twilight? Meh..biggest mistake in vampire history i ever seen.

Seriously it suck..that is all i have to say about it

[Ash]

Without knowing about the actuality of the "plot", I downloaded it. I had initially thought 'hmm, vampires, this film will be violent'.

How wrong I was.

Ten minutes in, after realising it was just some fucking teen movie, I was like "that's it, I'm done." and deleted it. Had I gone to the cinema, I'd have walked out and demanded a refund from the creators of the movie.

It's among the 10 worst things ever committed to film. Vampires shouldn't sparkle, and the creators shouldn't be allowed to live.

[Dant]

Honestly Twilight is nothing but just another crap teen romantic movie to me ,And main character is homosexual..also like many people said plot is just too "dumb".

And real vampie don't sparkle.

[Vortigern]

My flatmate has defriended several people on Facebook purely because they went to see Twilight. Admittedly, she's a bit strange, but I can see where she's coming from. I'm glad I've had nothing to do with it. Why can't people just be happy with Dracula for proper vampire lore? Or failing that, Underworld, because Kate Beckinsale is kinda hot, and I love basically anything with Bill Nighy. I hope he never lets me down.

[olli]

The books were written by a mother to show her young daughter that sex is not important in a relationship and that you can still fall in love/really like a person with out having sex with them regardless of what they are.

I think it's quite cleverly done, using vampires as an example. The book is meant to give young girls a moral example... Suppose it's better they love the book and read that than like the film because of a mildly attractive male. But they all love it. Every girl I know fucking loves the film. (Even ones 19+)Do you know what bit most start creaming themselves over? There is one part where Edward van douchebag holds the other girl's hand. That's it. They go mental. I have had the misfortune of having to sit through this shite, looking like I care and thought it was intriguing and hysterical how they were captivated by a glistening bellend. But strangely enough, this bellend wasn't covered in semen.

Or was he. Maybe that could explain it.

[olli]

I love basically anything with Bill Nighy. I hope he never lets me down.

He was doing some filming in town for a TV show, and was standing next to me in a queue dressed in a robe. I thought he was just another tramp/nut job. Didn't realise who he was until I walked away and he went back to film!

[Archon]

My girlfriend forced me to read the entire Twilight series.

Therefore, I can say that they're worth about as much as a big pile of horse crap.

[Radspakr Wolfbane]

and is it just me or does Edward has a HUUUGE forehead I swear he could advertise on it,
and little beady eyes.
But never tell a woman that.

The books are huge too and from what I can tell nothing really happens in them.
The books are twice as big as The Lord of the Rings that's right 1 twilight book is bigger than the entire LOTR trilogy.
WTF

[Allathar]

You know, this is really one of those franchises we love to hate.

Ten bucks on Ash's reply he's typing right now containing the same

[Ash]

My girlfriend forced me to read the entire Twilight series.

Therefore, I can say that they're worth about as much as a big pile of horse crap.

Dude, either you should've refused, or you should've dumped her like trash on waste collection day. Seriously, being forced to read Twilight has got to rank alongside 'shagging best mate of current girl/boyfriend', 'shagging parent of current girl/boyfriend' as dumpable offences go.

[Dant]

BAM

[Pasidon]

Nice. Though it's inaccurate since Bella doesn't have her massive buck teeth in.

Wait Khor... you were forced to read the entire series... and after page 3, you still went on? After chapter 1?! AFTER THE FIRST BOOK YOU DIDN'T COMMIT SUICIDE!? Weirdo.

Tell your girlfriend to imagine if Edward wasn't a vampire, or immortal. He would just be a nasty 100 year old guy dating a teenager! Wait... HE ALREADY IS!!!

and is it just me or does Edward has a HUUUGE forehead I swear he could advertise on it,

I tend to call him "Shovel Face" since it appears his complexion was created by bashing his face in with a shovel several times.

[Archon]

Lol at Dant's post

Dude, either you should've refused, or you should've dumped her like trash on waste collection day. Seriously, being forced to read Twilight has got to rank alongside 'shagging best mate of current girl/boyfriend', 'shagging parent of current girl/boyfriend' as dumpable offences go.

No comment.

[Mathijs]

Fuck Twilight. Read Bram Stoker's Dracula.

[Pasidon]

Now there's a proper book where the vampire genera should have remained faithful.

[Vortigern]

This post is simply to inform Pasidon that 'genre' is not, never has been and never will be spelt 'genera'. Also, technically 'vampire' isn't a genre. It's part of the gothic fantasy genre, which really shouldn't have been touched by anyone alive after the end of the Victorian era.

[Pasidon]

I think it could be classified as a genera / genre now-days. There's so much vampire crap, like in TV shows and movies, I could say it makes a catagory of its own.