We're back by poopular demand. Guuhhh....
"Detailed Life Simulation!"
So I've been following a cruddy dating game by the name of Always Remember Me, which features a cast of anime'y characters who have a wide range of 3 emotions and no voices at all. In fact, if you play through the game and read nothing, then it's just 100 cut scenes of you awkwardly emotioning your boyfriends to death and occasionally cheering because you talked with your geriatric aunt for an entire evening. You play as Ameranthia, or whatever the heck her dumb, fake name is, and your goal is to waste your entire summer by wooing over 4 boys. Your lesbian nature fails you as you don't have the option to flirt with the only other woman in the game whose job is to ambush you in the hospital at night and tell you to leave while looking very upset at you. You really only can woo one boy in the end, but the game doesn't explain that and just allows you to hilariously flirt with 4 complete strangers until they all start turning on you for not being cultural enough.
The story starts off strong: you're riding a bike with your boy toy, and you two get into an accident. You come out alright, but he has amnesia and doesn't remember you. Solution? Slut up the town with 3 other perfectly fertile candidates in your wake just in case things with gimpy don't work out. You can even flirt with your boyfriend's doctor, like any classy person. After the accident, you come out with low moral, which effects the game by causing you to fail at everything. The game is about keeping your moral up while making money and learning 4 different skills. But you're so insecure and useless, simply not eating an ice cream cone correctly can lower your moral. You can increase your skills by doing very edgy things, like writing an obnoxious poem, or dancing at the local disco pub. Yes, certainly all the disco pub.
Why learn these skills? So you can grow out of your pre-teen brooding phase and get an actual job? No, you get skills so you can improve your flirting ability for your strung out love pentagon. And how do you defeat the denizens of darkness and overcome being a desperate, clumsy flirt? Why, you get a single love interest's score up to 100! And you have to talk to them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And if you screw something up, like not telling Lawrence that he could be a great child molester after he blushes over an 8 year old girl, causing you to loose -5 points, you're royalty pooped. It takes about 2 hours to 'win' the game, and screwing up like that can completely waste your time. Just like real life.
In conclusion, if you guess at the right dialogue options and get lucky when you flirt with your chosen man slave every day, then you win the game. You spew out more obnoxious dialogue and kiss your boy on the lips. Or if you just fail with everyone, you end up alone and sit in the park to brood more about how pathetic of a human being you are. After all the hundreds of cheering moments because you drank at a bar correctly, watched TV successfully, or sat a a park without failure, you can still end up with no one. In fact, you will most likely end up with no one. Because the game hates you.
Edited by Pasidon, 04 January 2014 - 07:27 AM.
