28 replies to this topic

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob Sparkle Alexander Gastebuch, the talking badger, walked down the street armed with uber1337 laz0rgunz and a small hunting knife. A small child walked up to him. "How are you doing, mister?" he asked. Bob simply looked at him, and the child ceased to exist. He saw a group of othe people coming and took out his laz0rgunz. "Come on, people, let's dance!" he said. Everyone broke out dutifully into song. Then he shot them. He sat down next to a building for three years, living off the energy of the universe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

((For all of you people who have tired of ordinary RP'ing, this fun little thing should be a pleasant diversion. Macro-timing and godmodding are encouraged, killing other people's characters is accepted, and realism is strictly prohibited. GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!))

[Neutron4ever]

((Haha! I'm in! Wait...if our character dies, do we get a new one? ))

Ever since he was a boy, Table had always wanted to own a chair. One day, he was walking down a long windy road, dragging his chair behind him when all of a sudden, an army of...cows...yeah..cows...came marching up to him looking to eat his chair. "NOOOOO!!!" he cried and pulled out his...DEATH RAY!!

Yelling with glee, table enjoyed destroying those who attempted to eat his chair

[mike_]

Eragon woke up and screamed 'Brizingar!' in tone horribly like a woman. Everything got lit on BLUE fire and melted away screaming. Except him, because that would lead to continuity errors. Everyone else died.

Fin.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob Sparkle stepped out of the alternative dimension in time to see everything go up in blue fire. He called upon the power of Chuknoriz, and the flames ran away screaming. He then drew his laz0rgunz and pointed them at Eragon.

((You didn't think you could end this so easily, did you? ))

[True Lord of Chaos]

Ninja Joe went up behind Bob. He pulled out his blades and put one on his throat, and one on his eyes.
"Drop your weapons," said Ninja Joe.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob looked at Ninja Joe, who disintegrated before his awesomeness. Bob then reassembled him with his mind powers. "Not bad," said Bob. "Want to go out for a drink?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

((We should try to get a plot or something, just to add to the fun...))

[some_weirdGuy]

While those two shared a romantic embrace and shared dinner plans John Smith the Generic Male went to his generic job and spoke to his generic friend Average Joe. They then won the thread by killing the person above them

[Neutron4ever]

Until Table returned and smote John Smith upon the head with his chair

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob looked out the window and saw some violence going on. "Now now, let's not degenerate," he said. He turned to the person with the chair. "Can I sit down for a moment? I have a Very Serious Matter to discuss with you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

((Now now, let's not degenerate. If that's all you can think of, post in the thread designated for that purpose.))

[Neutron4ever]

"Get your own chair! This one's mine!" said Table, taking a seat, glaring at the foolish talking badger who dared ask for his chair.

Edited by Neutron4ever, 10 April 2009 - 11:56 PM.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob manifested a chair and sat down. "There seems to be a plague of Furbies running wild over Chicago. We must save the innocent drug dealers from the Furby menace, and then buy their wares!"

[Florisz]

Then Morgoth broke through the Void, and destroyed every last man, woman and child, and everything that lives.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob, noticing an annoying little man hanging from his elbow, squashed it. "Hmmm... that appeared to be Morgoth," he remarked. "Luckily, he only killed the six-inch tall people. Well, are we going to Chicago or not?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

((This is NOT "Kill the Person Above You". This is for humorous discussion, and all of this "Now I kill everyone" posting is ruining the topic. You want to kill everyone else off, post in the designated thread and leave this one alone!))

[Neutron4ever]

"Yes!" said Table, "But i'm bringing my chair with me."

[CIL]

There once was a Valar named MYH0TPOQ3TS who was Z0MG1337XOR H4X0RZ str0ng. He pwnt Morgoth and his Valar friends in the first age and crushed the world. He teleported teh Star Wrz dimension, where he became the Z0MGITSTEHEMPEROR. When he got tired of teh Star Wrz dimension, he teleported to the W/3 dimension. He tried to take it over.

Edited by CIL, 11 April 2009 - 06:11 PM.

[Rafv Nin IV]

((I apologize in advance for this post, which is in extremely bad taste.))


Moses and Muhammed strolled side-by-side along the sidewalk, sharing a reefer imbued with Holy Potency. God teleported Bob to their side. More drugs appeared, and everyone had a wonderful time. Incidentally, all war ended everywhere. Due to this, Chicago vanished because gigantic Easter bunnies high on cocaine trampled over all the skyscrapers.

Moses and Muhammed conversed gaily with one another briefly, then turned to Bob. "Big Boss up in sky infertile!" Muhammed exclaimed.

Moses explained. "No matter how many times He and Mother Earth try to get it on, they just never seem to finish. They can't reach orgasm, and thus the Lord cannot inseminate Mother. They're looking to adopt."

Puzzled, Bob gaped back at the prophets. "What's that got to do with me?"

"You go!" Muhammed said, "Rename! Bob infidel name, Jewish name!"

Moses turned on Muhammed, furious. "Don't insult me, towelhead!" From the midst of his cloak, Moses withdrew a stone tablet with fifteen instructions on it and brought it down upon Muhammed's forehead. The bottom third of the stone disintegrated.

"That not good," Muhammed murmured, "We no want just Ten Commandments. We want Fifteen!" Bob coughed nervously, and the Prophets turned their attention back to the mortal.

"So, anyway," Moses continued, "They want to adopt you. But, unfortunately, you'll have to change your name. Mother Earth wants Jeremy and God wants Susan, but I think we can get them to compromise on Jesus. Sound like a deal? Oh, and you're damned to eternal suffering if you refuse."


((Waits for the lightning bolt ))

Edited by Rafv Nin IV, 12 April 2009 - 04:17 AM.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob looked at the pair and started to cry. "What do you mean, I have an Infidel name?" he asked with tears in his eyes. "I read the Qu'ran and go to the synagogue every day after flagellating myself with a cross-shaped cat-o-nine-tails and meditating so that I can achieve nirvana! Why on earth do you want to change my name to Jesus? I don't see what that achieves..."

Muhammed looked at him and blinked. "What he say?" he asked Moses.

((Quite amusing, Rafv Nin. It would explain why my character has godly powers. ))

[segwayrulz]

ash looked at bob and saw that he was a rare pokemon. "go pokeball" ash said as he threw a pokeball at Bob...

[Spectre]

In the middle of the night, through the black and blue, the shit wagon flew! Through the street, screams were heard, a man was killed by a flying turd!

While the shit wagon made it's rampage, an old man's house collapsed! The man inside was choking on clay, and the women next door in a trance, a gun shot was heard, and a man with gun was heard, blind men ran to hide, while deaf men covered there ears as unearthly screams were heard! The U.S. army was fighting Sasquatch and a flying spaceship! a young man in his 80s ran to grab his bazooka, when a nuke appeared, he threw it at the saucers but missed! The Russians flew for miles as the nuke landed in Moscow! The men who were taken by the nuke came back at the old woman and shot him, and killed the rest of the army.

In the midst of the war, on a dark day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight, the two dead boys stood back to back and faced eachother. They drew their swords and shot eachother! The deaf policemen heard the noise and came to kill those two dead boys, if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it to. The blind man was found in a bag, he stood up and yelled "I was killed by turds!" and so it was through, the case was solved, the shit wagon had taken it's toll, and the Dinosaurs had come back, the world stood in silence as God came down to earth to say Science was true, the religions disappeared and the ocean ruled the land, while the land ruled the ocean.
---

It makes no sense, I know, but this thread was made to make none, correct?

Edited by Durandel, 15 April 2009 - 11:32 PM.

[{IRS}Athos]

Bob heard a deadly voice reciting a contradictory poe, and covered his ears, diving for cover as the sonic boom destroyed the Poke Ball that had been thrown at him. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he yelled. "This can't be happening!"