Rammstein4eva

http://www.glweb.org.../smokekills.php

You perform a canon ball dive into a pool while yelling "Spirit Bomb!"

You and your friends flash peace signs and take girlish poses when you are happy.

Your walls are covered in wallscrolls and posters from your favorite series.

If you use the term 'Kawaii' for describing everything.

You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you dont speak Japanese...

You spent hours looking through your library for a copy of "The Universe of Four Gods"

You have legally changed your name to that of your favorite charcter.

You wear a necklace and fall down everytime someone says sit boy.

You insist on having an entrance that includes spotlights, music, and raining cherry blossoms (while you hold a rose if you're a guy).

Your only dream is to attend Tokyo U with a girl you haven't seen in 15 years.

On St. Valentine's Day, you buy a stuffed dog and make up your on japanese name for it.

If you get mad at you teacher and draw a picture of her as a anime demon cat.

You watch Iron Chef constanly to pick up great recipes (haven't done it but plan to).

You've bought a twenty dollar ring in the shaped of a dragon to show off at school.

You always have your hair covering your left eye and always fliping it so you look like a anime character.

You think that falling flat on your back with your legs in the air is a normal reaction to big news.

You are worried because you don't have several desirable members of the opposite sex frantically trying to make you fall in love with them.

You shave a cresent moon onto your cats head, dye the cat purple, then take it to school and insist it's Luna, your talking cat.

You go around town trying to eat donuts and act all crazy-like, all the while saying you're Vash the Stampede.

To resolve a conflict, you insist in a duel.

The employees at Gamestop know you, and tell you when you walk in if they've gotten a new shipment of anime DVDs.

You've gotten angry at someone and placed two fingers on your forehead shouted the word "Makanekasopo!" (special beam cannon or light of death) and then poked them in the eye.

You waste countless amounts of hair gel to get that "Goku look"

You map out points in Tokyo where the Dragons of Earth might attack.

You believe it is possible for a person to be severly beaten in the head with a large hammer, stick, etc...and still come out alive.

You have a moment of confusion whenever you go to school because there are no girls in those tiny little skirts that come with their school uniform.

You yell out 'Baka hanyou Inu-Yasha!' at your birthday party and everyone (except your parents) knows you're talking to your boyfriend.

You tell your parents you need to stay out past curfew to save the colonies.

Each time you see a stray animal, you turn your hat sideways and throw one of those plastic Pokeballs Burger King was giving out in their kids' meals yelling, "POKEBALL, GO!"

You add "no da" to the end of all statements you make.

The majority of your CDs are Japanese or the English version of a Japanese soundtrack or the English soundtrack of an anime that just decided that it would use English in its songs.

You misplace your manga and someone at school you don't even know gives it to you saying they knew it was yours.

You incorporate Japanese, somehow, into every class.

You can sing songs from your favorite shows, in Japanese, even though you dont speek Japanese...

You use random Japanese words such as baka, kawaii, and hentai.

You'll risk grounding to get a good new fanfic.

You constantly say "w00p" after almost every sentance.

You insist on chopsticks for everyday use.

Your bookshelf is filled with anime boxed sets and no books.

You stop listening to the radio because english makes no sense to you anymore and it's your first spoken language.

You call yourself "otaku".

All of your family portraits have been altered to the proper super large eye size.

Random battles seem to erupt wherever you go.

You take the time to write messages on your cigarettes, only to burn them right away.

Your dreams are animated.

You naru punch all the guys at school, and then wonder why they don't follow you around like keitaro follows naru.

You hold your eyes really wide all day trying to make them stay big.

Duct tape is really funny to you and most of your threats involve taping people to walls.

When you're washing dishes you yell out "SUPAH WAVE SMASHUH!" or any water attack.

You run out of space on your computer because the hard drive is taken up by hundreds of anime pics, mp3s, midis, and music videos.

You spend all night trying to figure out how many people you can get to go in with you on buying the complete collection of Sailor Moon episodes in Japanese.

You spend your whole spring break working on an anime webpage.

You expect to see a teardrop over someone's head when they get embarressed.

You start to speak with an odd accent.

You can watch two animes in the same room at the same time and still have the TV off.

You know your favorite character's bloodtype.

Knowing Sailor Moon helps you on an Astronomy test.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to anime.

You try to read every book from right to left.

You take a break from watching anime to go to your computer (nicknamed Lord Conti) to download anime (for previewing purposes only! Wink ), while visiting your favorite anime forum, while listening to Japanese webradio...

You call your parents Oka-san and Otou-san.

You say "ITADAKIMASU!!" before you eat your meals.

You think that locket your boyfriend gave you will turn you into a magical girl.

In the land, far...far away...

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire that Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q: Good night, Daddy.