142 replies to this topic

[Pasidon]

"Baby Girl Newborn Doll."  I know you can't get enough of these things.  I think this one is keeping a hoard of human fingernails in its cheeks.  Like a demonic squirrel.  "Comes with a car seat."  Yes, just in case you need to safely escort your dark princess to Walmart.  The cost has had quite the journey here as well.  It was listed for "500 firm," but oddly enough, no one wants to buy a skin mimic for that much.  Then it got marked down to $300, and now to $250.  Getting closer to the incinerator where it firmly belongs.

[Pasidon]

"MIMI Humor Glass Pendent."  The word "humor" is used loosely in this situation.  Unless you're Inspector Gadget and come with binoculars built into your retinas, you're gonna have trouble reading this one.  Luckily, I did some advanced zooming for you.  The real thing doesn't come with that luxury, I'm afraid.  Sooo... Why is the 1st "i" lowercase and the 2nd one isn't?  Why is there a fake audio button? Who actually calls someone "Mimi?"  Unless you're in the Drew Carry Show, I don't think that's a thing.  Listed for $7.

[Pasidon]

"Game Bench."  Are we 100% sure you were supposed to sit on this thing?  I'm pretty sure it was just supposed to be a box.  Too late now I guess.  And what is that white gunk stained into it, dripping off the side there?  Gamer fluids?  You could have wiped it off at least a little.  Listed for $20.

 

Our lucky buyer will also be getting these Dorito crumbs hidden within as well.  Top quality gamer loot.

Spoiler

[Pasidon]

"Looking for Good Tree Service."  Well, that's fine, but what's with the weird picture?  She took a screen shot of some random religious tid-bit, and a random woman commenting "I receive it in Jesus name" to it, and for whatever reason... added that to her ISO for lawn care?  Does she want a guy to trim her trees or an amen in Jesus name?  Going for the daily double there I guess.

[Pasidon]

"There was an Old Lady that Swallowed a Fly Interactive Doll Puppet."  If you didn't find the super realistic reborn baby dolls creepy, here's a bloated old woman who stores wild and domesticated animals in her stomach.  "You add the characters to her MOTH one by one, along with the story."  Is this a Steven King story?  It's literally a monster.  And that cow has a tampon stabbed into its back.  Listed for $15.

[Pasidon]

"Minecraft Colored Picture."  If you say this looks like it was made by a 7 year old, that would be because it was.  This woman's son "is really wanting to make some extra money."  Well, that's alright then.  These are hard times.  I'm sure the price will be reasonable.  Listed for $6 plus $9 in shipping.  No returns.  Or... not reasonable at all.  Fighting capitalism with capitalism I see.

[Pasidon]

"Asshole Merrit Badge."  I didn't know Karens had their own merit system.  Listed for $8.

[Pasidon]

"No Trespassing We're Tired of Hiding the Bodies Funny Tin Metal Sign."  Yep.  It's fun railing off jokes about legally killing people on your property.  But seriously - that corpse pit behind the shed filled with the kids who lost their ball over the wrong side of the fence is getting way too full.  "Is actually tin metal and not aluminium."  Yea, that was the big concern.  Listed for $11.64.  An awkward, random amount for an awkward, random sign.

 

It also advertises the sign on the gates of... Buckingham Palace?  That's right.  The Queen really wanted that rusty, possibly blood-stained tin sign on her regal, wrought iron antique gates.

Spoiler

[Pasidon]

"Mouse Hole Baseboard Sticker."  Looking for a way to make your house look rat infested?  Look no further.  Listed for $6.

[Pasidon]

"Handmade Leather Crossbody Purse."  Uh-oh.  Another sight-deaf seller who thinks a creepy thing is cute.  She claims it's "an adorable real leather puppy purse."  Poor choice of words there.  Nothing quite as adorable as carrying a "real leather" severed puppy head around.  That final, horrified look in its eyes says it all.  "Great Christmas gift," says the lady in the middle of July.  Listed for $20.

[Pasidon]

"Tiffany Bride of Chucky 18x18 Pillow Case."  You don't often see the wives of haunted murder dolls on pillow cases.  I'm not entirely sure why we're seeing it now.  Listed for $16.

[Pasidon]

"Lawn Care."  Uhh... what is that picture?  Any guesses?  I would guess, BUTT you wouldn't like it.

[Pasidon]

"DP XL."  ...What?  What are you selling?  The dog?  Why does it have a parachute?  Are they selling that?  Why does a dog need a parachute???  HELLO??? Listed for $40 plus $10 in shipping.

[Pasidon]

"Clean Out."  This is more of a cautionary tale than a proper garage sale listing, but this woman is requesting professional help to clean out this shocking home.  She rented out this place to people who apparently lived like the Manson Family.  "Landlords beware of these people.  They never paid any utilities or rent except in the 1st month!"  You don't even mention who they are, but sure.  I'll keep a lookout for dirty, messy people in Komomo, Indiana. 

 

Just look at the state of this place:

 

Spoiler

 

 

Yikes.  Uhh... good luck to whoever wants to clean that up.  Make sure your all up to date with your tetanus shots.

[Pasidon]

No label for this scam.  Are they asking or telling me that no girl names start with T and end in A?  That's a pretty bad gameshow premise, but still a better premise than this.

[Pasidon]

"Dolls."  Just a couple of creepy dolls floating in the void of space.  Was this picture taken in a mole burrow?  Turn on a light, lady.  They're also in "good shape," so if you need some extra muscle, you know who to contact.  Listed for $10.

[Pasidon]

"Pan Handle Covers."  I'm 98% sure this isn't a joke listing.  Listed for $7 per dild... I mean... per pan handle cover.

[Pasidon]

"Bathroom Decor."  Nothing says "I need to take a dump in style" like pictures of random women and wildly hideous accessories that look like they're from a Ryan Murphy set.  Oo-la-la, monsieur!  An artistic piece that says "Paris" that I can admire while I go wee-wee?  And the kids will love the "Fuck it let's get naked" shower curtain.  "Pasidon!  These accessories are for ADULT bathrooms!"  Why does an adult bathroom even need a shower curtain?  There's no shame in this porcelain palace.  Listed for $65 plus $9 shipping.  The seller claims this is all "sold together," so expect a sink, bathtub, towel rack, mirror, door, and toilet in the mail box in 3-5 business days.

[Pasidon]

"Fire Hose."  Well, here you go.  Just 9 rolls of 50 feet of 450 feet of fire hose.  Why does anyone need this?  I dunno.  Water your garden until your marigolds are begging for death.  Listed for $400.

[Pasidon]

"Fubbles Bubble Camera."  So, it blows bubbles and is "NOT a picture taking camera."  Then why is it a camera?  What's the point?  It makes no sense.  Might as well be in the shape of a vibrater that "does NOT vibrate."  Listed for $10.