1312 replies to this topic

[Copaman]

Granted, but the strings won't buzz because - suddenly - there are no strings! Worst part: you were on stage performing in front of hundreds of people, without a backup. Have fun explaining that one to your adoring fans. Who were armed to the teeth. With dull butter knives. And all they really wanted was to hear you play the into the Jeremy. And now they're angry.

I wish. I didn't. Corrupt that wish. In short, choppy. Sentences.

[Vithar-133]

granted but now you just used one long not choppy sentence that didnt an punctuaion at all and was loaded with spelling errors


I wish I didn't do that.

[Copaman]

Granted, but in exchange for correcting your one dumb sentence, you're doomed to spend eternity writing run-on sentences with terrible speeling and grammar errors.

I wish I could get focused. I have a lot of school work to do, seeing as how I'm doing all of tonight's homework and all of tomorrow night's homework tonight.

[Rafv Nin IV]

Granted. Unfortunately, you never get to eat a Reuben sandwich again in your life. I pity your poor soul

I wish my parents weren't forcing me to learn to drive.

[CIL]

Granted. You can never drive because you murdered and tried to rape a 12 year old. Her parents caught you. You can enjoy your comfy jail cell.

I wish people would stop questioning my intellect for a change, especially in such ignorant ways.

Edited by CIL, 31 March 2009 - 12:11 AM.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, everyone asks you for advice and help, and you go insane due to it.

I wish I could skateboard better. It is cool at my school.

[Copaman]

Granted. You become so good that you go pro at age 13.5 - just as you're about to drop in on the world's biggest half pipe during some X-Games competition or something, you think to yourself "Wait. I'm only 13.5. I don't wanna be a pro at skateboarding. I think I'll go listen to some Dave Matthews Band, wear faded pastel salmon-colored shorts with a white button down shirt, pick up a pair of Birkenstocks and a visor with a pre-frayed rim, and then go play some Frisbee at the local park - but only after I fly out to Connecticut and enroll myself in a private preparatory school." So much for being cool in your friend's eyes.

By the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing faded pastel salmon shorts with Birkenstocks, or listening to DMB. In the summer here on the east coast, it's just about the greatest thing ever.

I wish I had a new pair of Birkenstock Arizonas. So comfortable

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, it comes in tomorrow. They're several sizes too small, and you have nothing else to wear.

I wish I was better at C&C: Generals ZH.

[CIL]

Granted, everyone asks you for advice and help, and you go insane due to it.

Aren't I already?

Granted, but everyone decides they don't like it anymore. No online ownage for you.

I wish I had a roast beef sandwich. And please, try to come up with something more creative than "it's laced" or "its poisoned."

Edited by CIL, 01 April 2009 - 08:17 PM.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but the meat isn't regular 'beef,' it's a cock.

I wish I was better at modeling on Maya.

[CIL]

Okay, that's just gay.

Granted, but it's only in your opinion. Everyone else hates your work. You get lynched and then raped.

I wish people would corrupt wishes well.

[Vortigern]

Granted, I come back and corrupt the fuck out of your wishes. In fact, I corrupt your wishes so powerfully that the dank, dark corruption that spews forth from my posts begins to eat away at the corners of your mind, dragging you deeper and deeper into the grim mire of insanity, but not before the sheer strength of will and imagination behind the corruptions forces it into physical existence, due to as-yet-unknown fourth law of thermodynamics. Its physical form is a black, creeping mass, vaguely reminiscent of the creep upon which Zerg buildings stood in Starcraft. It spreads fast, and seeks out human flesh, rapidly reaching across America, from coast to coast, and massacring everyone in its path.

I wish my ribs didn't hurt, or at least that I knew why they hurt.

[CIL]

THAT is much better a corruption...

Granted. You find out you broke them all. You scream in agony. It feels like it just got much worse. It did! The doctor is gutting you!

I wish I could actually do a decent job corrupting wishes like I used to....

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted. You corrupt wishes at about half the level of Vortigern. Although you, and the rest of the world, will never be able to best Vortigern at corrupting wishes, you challenge Vortigern. You think you are ready to take on the Wish Corrupting God. You make him seem like a homosexual, and he makes you seem like a suicidal, emo, transexual, homosexual, and any other bad things, person. The corruption was so enormous that your life fades away gradually as you think of how humiliated you were, and eventually take your own life. How's that, Vort? Am I doing better at corrupting?

I wish I knew what her response will be...

And what does 'lynched' mean?

Edited by True Lord of Chaos, 02 April 2009 - 06:46 AM.

[Vortigern]

Are you serious? An American teenager doesn't know what lynching is? A lynching is the hanging of a black man by white men, generally the KKK, as retribution for the "crime" of being black. The victims were hanged from tree branches and left out to rot when they had died. Sometimes they were also burned. (By the way, I do mean 'hanged'. That is the correct form.) A lynching became a symbol of racist American culture. If anyone were to be lynched these days there would be an international outcry, most likely. It's, like, the ultimate hate crime.

Granted, her response is yes, but only under two circumstances: firstly, you must streak through your school, while doing which everyone sees you and points and laughs, because it's something of a cold day, and secondly, you must successfully patent something. So you head into your school labs and set to work inventing. After some months of trying, you eventually create a miniature black hole generator, but there are some little bits of faulty wiring and it creates a black hole big enough to consume our entire arm of the Milky Way. We are all doomed.

A minor point: wish-corruption is measured in Vortigerns. TLC has a standard of about 0.25 Vortigerns, while CIL has slightly lower, a score of about 0.2 V. I always wanted to be my own unit of measurement.

I wish I'd remembered to eat this morning. I've got to go out now.

[True Lord of Chaos]

I don't remember everything taught in hatred 101

Granted, but now you've gone down in Vortigerns to about a salted hunk of ham, which is 0.0000000000001.

I wish for chocolate, I'm not too happy right now.

[CIL]

Lynching is just capital punishment for a presumed crimes that is carried out by a mob. It isn't necessarily against blacks, although it almost always was.

Granted, but the chocolate comes from aliens. They give it to you in hopes of luring in another stupid American teenager. They put it in fish wire and you follow it each time they reel it in. Then, they zap you up into their ship and do horrible things to you, such as cutting you open and poking at your insides. Finally, they sew you up and show you the future of the world. It is too horrible to see and you close your eyes through the whole thing. Lastly, they tell you a secret: they are in cahoots with the United States government. At last, the aliens send you home, but your body has been mutilated horribly. You are hated by everything around you for your ugliness. You die at the age of 17 due to a car crash before you could reveal your secret to the world.

I wish for a grilled cheese sandwich.

Edited by CIL, 03 April 2009 - 06:46 AM.

[Vortigern]

I was under the impression that a lynching was strictly an unauthorised hanging of a black man in public for perceived crimes without trial or evidence. Mob racism taken to a highly symbolic extreme.

Granted, but the cheese comes from a cow that was reared on nothing but marijuana. The amount of THC in the cheese is colossal, and sends you into the most intensely stoned state ever experienced by mankind. Thousands upon thousands of genuine stoners are jealous to the core, but you are incapable of caring, or even noticing, because so powerful were the effects of this sandwich that your brain has shut down and you have become a vegetable. Oddly, the cow is absolutely fine, and will not die until a ripe old age, whatever that may be for the bovine kind.

I wish the world were a better place. (Nice and open-ended. Impress me. )

[CIL]

No, it's the carrying out of a hanging by a mob because the person is accused of doing something... not necessarily found guilty of it or because they're black.

Your wish is probably the most creative one I've seen yet. I'll have to give it what it deserves...

Granted, but it becomes too perfect. People are genetically modified at birth to make them "perfect." People that have impure blood or are deformed, physically or mentally in any way, are thrown into a food processing plant to feed the perfect people... only they aren't making it... they ARE it! You, as you were not genetically engineered, suffered from a congenital heart defect from birth, as well as melanoma that got into your bloodstreem. It is a miserable life. You are allowed to live your few years because the people pity you. They then de-cancer you. You are sent to the processing plant and your body and its innards is thrown through numerous knives and layed on many conveyor belts. You are eaten by a middle-class genetically engineered the person after being turned into crackers. So much for a more perfect world for you.


Anyways, I think that's a strange twist between Soylent Green and Gattaca.

I wish I had a decent cellist with a good cello for my quartet.

Edited by CIL, 03 April 2009 - 06:57 AM.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but they hate you, and quit after 1 day of practice.

I wish I wasn't so confused.