1742 replies to this topic

[Vortigern]

Two points: first, it seems you're confusing 'socialising' with 'attention-whoring'. Measure your friends in quality, not quantity. The second point is from Shakespeare, but the maxim holds true as ever: to thine own self be true. I don't think that needs any further explanation.

[Puppeteer]

Eh? I just can't do parties, or larger social gatherings. It takes me a long while to get comfortable with people (I'm still not comfortable with/by myself).

[Gfire]

Two points: first, it seems you're confusing 'socialising' with 'attention-whoring'. Measure your friends in quality, not quantity. The second point is from Shakespeare, but the maxim holds true as ever: to thine own self be true. I don't think that needs any further explanation.

Well yes, as I said I've restricted the definition of socialization. I don't know what's going through their heads, but I know a lot of people who would consider what they do 'socializing' but measure their friends in quantity and not quality. It's nice that a know a few guys who are more like that, um, one in particular, who is an 'attention-whore'

You're right, I have had a negative view on socializing lately, I don't want that to affect my behavior. Thank you.

I agree about parties, though. Well, some are okay, it depends. I can't do crowded, noisy places. Concerts are the worst, though, being loud, super crowded and usually in a nasty building. Those sorts of things are only fun if you go with some people you know who enjoy it, for me.

[Imdrar]

If you want to enjoy a party for sure, be the bartender. Believe me, it's the best role you can get there. I avoid parties wherever I can, but if one of my true friends insists on celebrating his birthday or whatever else, I insist on being the bartender. You're outside the whole crowding and dumb dancing, but nevertheless everybody comes to your desk earlier or later. Many people seek conversation while ordering a drink, or two, or more, and sometimes they tell you an entertaining story. If you like the dialogue, give them a chance, if they're boring you, say something like "Sorry, but I'm busy right now". If you'd say this as a guest amongst others, they would probably feel insulted, but since you're the bartender, they totally understand you if you have to attend to other things. You're enjoying diplomatic immunity.

[Gfire]

That's a good idea, I'll keep that in mind.

[Rob38]

Socializing is a very flexible term. For example, these forums are a way of socializing.

[Gfire]

That's a good point, I think I've gone a little overboard with the socializing on here lately, come to think of it. Or at least, perhaps in the wrong topics.

[m@tt]

As said, there are many ways of socialising. Puppet, you're off to Oxford next summer (or the one after if you take a gap year) and you'll find that there are lots of ways to socialise. A lot depends on which halls you choose and which societies and sports clubs you visit. As someone who hates clubbing (2 hours in a club in 3 years at uni, minus the students union which isn't really a club) and dislikes getting blind drunk, and who prefers a smaller group of friends (I struggle with lots of people as I get drowned out), I found that I was able to fit in fine, despite having fecked up my social life whilst back at school. Don't worry about it - if you worry, you'll over-think social situations (I'm sometimes guilty of this).

[Rafv Nin IV]

I've found introversion and socializing work fine together. I went to a noisy crowded New Year's party. I stayed for an hour and a half, then left to have an hour of alone time, then came back. I do this at every party to which I go.

I missed the actual clock-turnover, but considering that they were watching the New York City countdown, I didn't feel like I missed out...it was delayed for three hours to reach the West Coast.

[Mathijs]

All this analyzing won't do any of you any good.

Do what feels right. Don't do what doesn't. If you have constant trouble distinguishing between these two emotions, it's probably time to stop trying to please anybody but you until you've figured yourself out.

Myself, I rarely socialize outside of my comfort zone because I have realized over the years that I cannot relate to 99% of the people I meet, and if I try to it only ends up widening the gap, and I end up feeling betrayed by my own self. I keep petty chat to a minimum and only do the things necessary to move through daily life. I am comfortable with the way I've set it all up, and my close friends are all I need to refresh the contineous rehashing of things in my mind every once in a while.

All a comfortable social life requires is some balls to stand by yourself and your convictions.

Gnōthi seauton.

Edited by Matias, 02 January 2011 - 07:30 PM.

[Gfire]

I agree. I'm good with myself in a similar setup.

Um... I just sometimes find I betray myself when I am overwhelmed in a loud, crowded place. That is, when there's someone I'd like to talk who I would consider a good friend, and in another setting I would be very comfortable socializing with them, but I don't always and sometimes regret it. It's not too bad it's just with those people who I never see in another setting anymore that it really gets to me.

[Mathijs]

Then give those people a call.

[Ganon]

What is this? The lonely hearts club?

New name: Vent your anger loneliness topic.

Edited by Ganon2020, 03 January 2011 - 06:27 AM.

[Gfire]

We should have that.

Yeah, generally I'd contact them through some other means, I should do that more though.

[Devon]

Hmmm... ultimately, your grades are determined by you and you alone.

Optimally, sure. But not always. Our physics teacher assigns grades basically on what he thinks you deserve, everyone has an F in his class cause it's so ridiculously hard until the end of the marking credit when he puts in arbitrary amounts of extra credit. One of my English teacher had a professor in college who gave him As while she was in a steady relationships with one of his friends, and Fs when she and her partner broke up.

[yams in a can]

I am angry that parachat keeps me from sleeping.

I am pretty happy right now. I have been alone at my house, but I have tons of friends to talk with at school. Also, I am changing my schedule for doing homework from right before I sleep, to doing it right after school and getting ahead if I can ^.^. I felt real awesome after doing the homework for 3 hours straight.

[Gfire]

Well, my life's fantastic, so I'm cursing this topic.

Really, though, I should be doing homework right now.

[Rob38]

Hmmm... ultimately, your grades are determined by you and you alone.

Optimally, sure. But not always. Our physics teacher assigns grades basically on what he thinks you deserve, everyone has an F in his class cause it's so ridiculously hard until the end of the marking credit when he puts in arbitrary amounts of extra credit. One of my English teacher had a professor in college who gave him As while she was in a steady relationships with one of his friends, and Fs when she and her partner broke up.

This is where you report the professor for academic misconduct. Every college should have a way to challenge a grade given by a professor. Sure, it's a pain but learning to advocate for oneself is a vital skill to learn.

[{IRS}Athos]

*sigh* I wanted to finish watching the Extended Edition of RotK, but instead my mom told me that we were going to watch The Town. Which was all right, except she kept on gasping or shaking her head every time they said f***. This happened about 300 times over the course of the movie.

[Yarrum]

I vent the fact that I overslept this morning and missed my first period class. I was lucky enough to have second period free and spoke to my history teacher when I got to school. I apologized for missing class and said that there were some issues that morning. He asked if I overslept, to which I responded "maybe" and he laughed. He wasn't annoyed and is most likely not marking me down for a cut, but my dad was irritated by it and gave me another lecture on personal responsibility. I really hate getting those lectures...