1312 replies to this topic

[lefthand]

Granted, but when you open it, it made a constant beeping sound and you can't turn it off so it offically drives you crazy for the rest of your life.

i wish Coffee was banned forever

Granted, but world productivity goes down and thus the price of everthing goes up.
I wish for more wishes.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but they are for you to become gay, and commit suicide.

I wish Jessica Paxton that I know, not any other, wanted to go out with me

Edited by myself, 25 September 2008 - 03:13 AM.

[lefthand]

Granted, but they are for you to become gay, and commit suicide.

I wish Jessica Paxton that I know, not any other, wanted to go out with me

Granted and then you catch oral herpes and she breaks up with you for being a terrible lover.

I wish the next person who responds to my post comes up with something more original.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but it's me!
I wish I could focus on this short story I'm typing for honor's bloc.

[Vortigern]

Granted, but you take 2CI, a hallucinogenic drug, to help you concentrate, and write a complete load of bullshit over a really really long period of time, and then whoever that guy is hates you for posting shit.

I wish I had some salvia right now.

[CIL]

Granted, but it was from the mouth of some guy who just sucked another guy's cock. And it was in your mouth. You puke so much that you die.

I wish all my boxes were packed.

Edited by Crazy Intellectual Liberal, 26 September 2008 - 06:18 AM.

[Vortigern]

Granted, but then they get shipped off without you, and to the wrong place. And then your move falls through, and you have to stay where you are, except that you've now got nothing. Not even a bed, or food. Good luck.

By the way, you smoke salvia, or bong it. You don't just eat it.

I wish my awesome fluffy pen hadn't broken.

[CIL]

Oh, it was salvia, not saliva. That was stupid of me. Granted, but it breaks when you are holding it and one of the pieces punctures and ruins your right hand. You can never use it again.

I wish I didn't have to move to a smaller house.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but you move to a mansion, can't afford it, and get everything taken away by the evil IRS.

I wish I hadn't pulled a muscle in my thigh.

Edited by myself, 27 September 2008 - 02:35 AM.

[Vortigern]

Granted, you pulled a muscle in your face instead and find it incredibly painful to eat.

I wish I could remember how to get up early...

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but you wake up, go outside, and get hit by the crossfire of a gang shooting.

I wish I Logan Jones (the one I know, not a different one) would get kicked in the cajones so hard, they stop producing testosterone.

[Vortigern]

Granted, but he gets kicked so hard that he goes flying through the air and lands on your face, proceeding to take out his fury on you through the medium of anal rape.

I wish I were better at rolling cigarettes.

[Mathijs]

Granted, but packets suddenly become a lot cheaper and your skill is useless. (At least, that's why I roll cigarettes instead of buying a pack)

I wish fat people would stop complaining about how they can't buy clothes.

Edited by Matias, 28 September 2008 - 02:12 AM.

[True Lord of Chaos]

Granted, but they now complain about their "vicious cycle."

I wish I could afford the Dragon Amulet on DragonFable.

Edited by myself, 28 September 2008 - 02:25 AM.

[Vortigern]

Granted, but it turns out it's a real dragon, and it comes out of the screen and eats your face off.

I wish I could figure out how to get that damned phone working.

[Dauth]

Granted, you have no network coverage

I wish adblock plus worked on TVs

[Mathijs]

I can't corrupt a wish so pristine, so truthful and so great.

I wish everyone would just pay some attention.

[Elvenlord]

Granted, but then mass riots take place and the world goes up in flames, because people realise what the hell the is going on.

I wish the glare on the TV would go away.

[Ring o' Fate]

Granted, but it now apperes on EVERY computer you go on very stongely. And now you can't get on any computers, and you eventually go crazy without the ability to play on a computer.
I SO wish that school would end already..... And everyone would get their education at the same time!

Edited by Ring of Fate, 28 September 2008 - 11:21 PM.

[Vortigern]

I.. What? So you're wishing for millions, if not billions, of people to go to school at the same time and then, a few years later, leave the teachers with nobody to teach? Well, OK. Granted, but it totally fucks up the economy by destroying the entire teaching industry, leaving countless millions jobless, and they all turn on you.

I wish you luck in surviving their wrath.