title available
Posted 14 August 2011 - 08:59 PM
I went to the butchers the other day and bet him £20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He replied, "nah, stakes are too high".
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
For being outstanding in his field.
Edited by Puppeteer, 14 August 2011 - 08:59 PM.
Because good guys are too mainstream
Posted 14 August 2011 - 09:06 PM
Mapper
Posted 15 August 2011 - 12:56 AM
A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough."
He then goes home and hangs himself.
Why was the boy sad?
Because he had a frog stapled to his face
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
Because good guys are too mainstream
Posted 15 August 2011 - 07:24 PM
title available
Posted 15 August 2011 - 09:33 PM
No candy?If you can guess how much candy i have in my pocket, you'll get them all three
The John Farnham of modding
Posted 16 August 2011 - 05:30 AM
Veni Vidi Vertigo - I came,I saw, I have to sit down for a minute.
Break dancing into the hearts of millions
God's Shadow
Posted 16 August 2011 - 08:46 PM
This face means nothing, these hands hold nothing, these lungs are empty, these eyes are blind
Sumquhat quisquis.
Posted 17 August 2011 - 06:34 PM
The John Farnham of modding
Posted 21 August 2011 - 05:59 AM
Veni Vidi Viagra - I came, I saw, I stood at attention.
Break dancing into the hearts of millions
God's Shadow
Posted 22 September 2011 - 10:43 PM
Accidentally ran over the neighbour's cat this morning...with a chainsaw
Edited by Neth, 22 September 2011 - 10:44 PM.
This face means nothing, these hands hold nothing, these lungs are empty, these eyes are blind
Non Sequitur
Posted 27 September 2011 - 03:00 PM
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I've discovered the meaning of life." The bartender replies "Really? What is it, then?"
The man is then sniped from two buildings away.
Women's rights.
God's Shadow
Posted 29 April 2012 - 11:36 PM
I wasn't sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shat myself.
"Jesus loves you."
A nice gesture in church.
A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Went to see Titanic 3D yesterday and it was so 3D I could actually feel James Cameron taking the money out of my pocket.
This face means nothing, these hands hold nothing, these lungs are empty, these eyes are blind
title available
Posted 29 April 2012 - 11:48 PM
Blondes:
2 blondes are walking in a forest,
They fall into a dark ditch,
The first one asks the other "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The second one replies "I'm not sure, I can't see"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
1 to hold the lightbulb and the other 4 to turn the chair.
Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Posted 30 April 2012 - 02:20 AM
Husband and wife decide to go on a trip down to Florida. Due to work issues the Husband leaves first and when he gets shown to his hotel room in Florida he admires that they have these things called computers in each room. So, he decides to send an email to his wife. He didn't notice that he left a letter out of the email address and so, sent it to another woman. This woman had just gotten back from her Husbands funeral and decides to check her email. The first one she check the subject title was "I've Arrived"
She read the message and fainted. The Message said:Subject Title-
I've Arrived
Message-
Hello my wife,
I have arrived. I cant wait for your arrival here tomorrow. They also have a computer! So, i decided to send you an email.
From, Your husband.
p.s- Its really warm down here.
Edited by {IP}Apollo, 30 April 2012 - 02:21 AM.
Inactive Noob
Post-modern Shaman
Posted 24 January 2014 - 09:47 PM
Heh, that's great 
No fuel left for the pilgrims
Posted 26 January 2014 - 06:54 PM
The John Farnham of modding
Posted 03 February 2014 - 11:36 AM
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
Break dancing into the hearts of millions
LEGO Knight of Minas Ithil
Posted 28 February 2014 - 12:10 PM
When I saw this screenshot I couldn't help myself making this meme.
Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy. - C.S. Lewis
There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. - Louis L'Amour
What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most now? - Max Lucado
Inactive Noob
Posted 10 March 2014 - 04:28 PM
What does Merry say when you select him: "Those hobbits must stick together!"
What I understood when I selected him: "Those hobbits must stink together!"
Haha
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